Changes | Bean

Friday, January 13, 1922
5:45 PM

"If we could maybe never talk about that kiss again, I think we'd both be better off." He glanced sideways at Morgan as he took a book from the hand of a waiting Slytherin and checked it off against those scheduled to return today. Giving the book a once-over to ensure it wasn't damaged in any way, he nodded the kid off, ignoring the strange look cast between himself and Morgan.

"Right?" he asked her, tossing the book off to the side so she could arrange it on the cart for go-backs. Benji leaned on the desk, tapping his quill with slight apprehension, sorry to have had to bring up such a sour subject again, but it needed to be said. He'd apologized, three years ago to be exact, but he knew Morgan still harbored some animosity about it.

He guessed he couldn't blame her, but he'd sooner not have it hanging over the both of them, all things now considered.

He sighed, tossing the quill down as another student - a Gryffindor approached, inquiring about access to the Restricted Section. "No." It was all he offered. It was a process to get people access to the area, and he didn't feel like doing the paperwork today. Besides who trusted a Gryffindor to...he glanced again at Morgan, glad she wasn't a mind-reader.

Anyway.

"Did you know about them?" he asked mildly as the Gryffindor wandered off, throwing up a rude hand gesture. "My mum and your dad?"

Morgan had said it was okay; that the changes that were coming, the merging of her and Benji’s families, were going to be okay.

When she was around any of them – her dad, Julia, Benji – she always put on a brave face. Her stomach had a permanent pit in it, though, and if she could see a one-on-one talk coming her way, she attempted to slink away before anything could be said.

The anger she felt… Morgan couldn’t figure out her target. Was it them? For doing this? For there being another baby coming into the world? They were adults – they knew how those things worked. Especially her dad. He had her, Evander, and now this one… all with different mums.

Benji? Maybe Benji. He was the same as always, as if nothing had changed. He didn’t see it how she did, though.

Herself – she was definitely angry at herself. From the moment she’d been told, she kept saying it was okay. She hated that word now. And she hated herself for putting herself in the spot of everything always being okay.

Still, she and Benji were sharing a shift in the library. She was even more irritated he’d taken it upon himself to sign her up for the assistant program; as if he had any right.

"If we could maybe never talk about that kiss again, I think we'd both be better off. Right?"

His words, the mention of ‘that kiss’ made her stomach drop. Morgan hated thinking about that. And now he was her brother. That made her stomach churn. His eyes were on her, and she refused to look at him.

Wordlessly, Morgan nodded and picked up the book he’d tossed towards her. She read the author, then put it on the cart in alphabetical order.

She heard his sigh, and was thankful when someone from her house approached, attempting to get access to the Restricted Section. Benji’s simple ‘no’ drew a smirk to her lips, though she picked up another book, read the author, and filed it next to the previous on the cart.

"Did you know about them? My mum and your dad?"

”Gods, no. I had no idea. I know she’s around all the time, and clearly my dad just… insists on populating the world with his offspring,” Morgan muttered, spitting the words out as her stomach churned again. ”Did we miss the signs?” she asked, finally looking at Benji.

She wouldn’t be the oldest anymore. What would that be like?

She nodded, and he mirrored it before nodding to the book in her hand. "Wrong pile Sneaks. Put that one to the left. Different section." Good, they were on the same page about that at least. If he and Morgan were going to be siblings, then they certainly couldn't dwell on the things that suggested they weren't.

Had Benji known this would all happen just a few years later, he certainly would have spared Morgan and him both the awkwardness. Hell, he would do that anyway if he could go back.

But bygones were bygones and there was no reason to wallow over things that couldn't be changed.

”Gods, no. I had no idea. I know she’s around all the time, and clearly my dad just… insists on populating the world with his offspring.”

He couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. Morgan, even in her surliest moments had a good sense of humor. It was what had drawn him to her when they first became friends. Her ability to make him smile, whether it was with sarcasm or intention.

Professor Barlowe - Maddox - did seem fairly intent on ensuring his genepool continued on, but Benji mused he couldn't really blame the man. If Benji were that good-looking and had women throwing themselves at him, he'd probably have a few kids running around too.

”Did we miss the signs?”

He shrugged, plopping himself up on the counter as he took the logbook into his hands and searched over it for a few approvals. Julia told him he was to reconcile the logbook against the Restricted Section forms to ensure nobody was getting access when they shouldn't. It wasn't that he was overly interested in ensuring no one got their hands on questionable books, but moreso that he wasn't interested in pissing off his hormonal mother.

"I don't think so," he offered honestly, running his finger down the list of names. "They've always been best friends, you know?" Even when his mum was briefly married before, she had spent more time with Maddox than her husband. "We wouldn't have noticed unless they were outright snogging in front of everyone." And his mum would certainly never.

He glanced up from the book as quiet fell over them for a moment and studied her. "I know you're not handling this well. But it really is going to be okay." He remembered how upset she was when Evander was on his way. She'd worried then that her dad would forget all about her. It hadn't happened.

"And, if they piss you off," he offered with a wide grin, "You just come to my fancy ass castle and hang out with me. Loads of cool shit to explore there. And no little siblings."

Benji shrugged, and Morgan relaxed a bit. If there had been any possibility that she had been the only one to miss the signs of her father and his mum becoming an item, then she’d likely die.

"I don't think so. They've always been best friends, you know? We wouldn't have noticed unless they were outright snogging in front of everyone."

A disgusted look crossed Morgan’s face rather quickly, the thought of them snogging or even… making a baby together grossing her out. She shuddered a bit, refusing to let her thoughts linger there longer than they had to. She sighed softly though and looked at another book, opening it up.

"I know you're not handling this well. But it really is going to be okay."

The Gryffindor bit her lip, refusing to react to what Benji said. How did he know she wasn’t handling it well? She’d told everyone that she was okay and that everything was okay. It wasn’t, she didn’t think. She didn’t know when or if it would ever be okay.

She kept her green eyes locked on the book she was staring at, pretending to look at the name of the person who last checked it out.

"And, if they piss you off, you just come to my fancy ass castle and hang out with me. Loads of cool shit to explore there. And no little siblings."

Morgan forced a smirk, feeling his eyes on her. She shrugged, willing everything about herself to truly be okay with everything going on with their families. Well – family. They were now one in the same.

“I’m fine, I promise. I just felt a bit… blind-sided is all,” Morgan responded carefully, finally glancing at Benji with her head tilted sideways. She wasn’t okay. The rest of her face may say it, but her green eyes weren’t.

But she refused to admit it out loud yet. She had to be okay.

She wasn’t a baby anymore.

Her stomach churned and she shut the book, setting it off to the side, already forgetting what name she’d seen inside.

“I get that,” he said quietly. He did. He could see how something like this would feel blindsiding, especially for someone like Morgan. She’d been through so much in the past few years. Finding her dad, losing her mum. All the stuff that had gone on with the school and within their world.

“Your dad,” he said, trying to see if there was a way in with Morgan. A way to help her see this could only be a good thing. If there was anything Benji had learned being shuffled about, it was that when someone showed you they loved you, it was good to believe them. “He’s a really good guy.” She knew that, he didn’t have to tell her. “And I’ve known some really shitty dads, Morgan.” He turned checking off another book against the list. “He wouldn’t put you in a situation where you’d be unhappy or forgotten.”

He could see the look of hesitation in her eyes when she finally glanced at him and he offered her a shrug. “And my mum, she loves you and Evander. Kate…ehhhh.” He shrugged, a grin returning to his lips. “She really only likes me. It’s not personal.” He guessed anyway. Kate had a hard time with change, including new people. “And I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even like me half the time.”

He nudged her a bit with his elbow. They needed to get these books put away, but maybe they could leave that part for the next shift.

“The new baby will be a change for sure,” he said. Kate was already beside herself with the idea, even if ‘beside herself’ looked like her staring into space. He knew she was territorial over their mum, and having a new little one coming into the picture was throwing everything off balance for her.

“I like to say I’m okay too even when I’m not.” He caught her eye again. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I think we’ve known each other a little too long for that bullshit, yeah?”

Morgan let out a breath, biting her lip at the changing dynamic between her and Benji. Already.

They had started ages ago, it seemed. She followed him around like a lost puppy, jumping to his defense at any moment he was threatened (whether he wanted her to or not). And then the non-kiss. And then anger on her part, apologies on his. And now… this.

Her brother.

It was a foreign concept. She’d accepted her baby brother Evander, but she was older and could be the boss of him. Benji was older than her, which made her not the oldest anymore.

But then there was also Rosalie… wherever she was. It might be nice to have an older sister, but…

Morgan didn’t know.

“And my mum, she loves you and Evander…”

Morgan was listening as Benji continued, his voice sympathetic to how he knew she must be feeling. The mention of his mother made her think about her own mother. Caroline Dobbs had been extremely far from perfect, but she’d been hers. Morgan was the only child of the woman who often chose work over being a mum.

And now she was going to have a step-mum. And Julia’s attention would surely be divided. Just like her father’s.

“I like to say I’m okay too even when I’m not. You don’t have to pretend with me. I think we’ve known each other a little too long for that bullshit, yeah?”

He was right. Still, Morgan only held eye contact for a mere second. Any longer and she felt she might crumble. She didn’t want to crumble. Babies cried.

She wasn’t a baby.

After a moment, a sniffle, and a wipe at her face, she finally looked at him, a smile on her face. “I know… I’ll be alright, I’m just being a bit dramatic,” she said, attempting to sweep it under the rug.

Besides, Benji was fine with the whole thing. She should be too.