New Horizons || Benji

Sunday, June 12, 1921
The deck of the S.S. Arcanaia
7:24 AM

She was going to be sick. In a manner that had nothing to do with the gentle side-to-side ebbing motion of the S.S. Arcanaia, Rae felt her insides twisting with the memory of the previous night. When the men had done making a spectacle of them, they'd taken her and Benji into a private room where they'd been forced to make vows that had death sitting prominently as a defining clause.

Twenty-four, that was how long they could delay the inevitable; the last day of her 24 years of life. They had to be married by then unless they both fancied suddenly dropping dead, and the finality of such an oath unsettled her.

That was the end of everything. No matter how hard they fought for it to be for them, no matter how fervently she chose to believe in her own autonomy, the fact remained that Rae couldn't fight death.

She wasn't upset that the men had bound Benji to her for what was apparently forever (she loved him, after all), but she was disgusted at the way it had all played out. The girl didn't want to be his future wife because his life depended on it. She wanted to be his wife because when he looked at her, he knew there could be no one else. Now, she'd never know which it was and had been robbed of the whimsical romance that she'd set her sights on for some obscure day, off in the future.

Benji was sick for his own reason.

From the moment the boy had seen the massive ship, he'd grown increasingly pale. Was it his first time? She was beginning to think so. Her boyfriend--not her fiancé--had suddenly tried to make the decision to remain in England on his own. Rae was sure he'd have made a run for it if the crowds hadn't been in his way. Exasperated as her father had already been, he'd made quick work of stunning Benji and levitating him onto the magical liner with its separate, secluded entrance for those of the magical kind.

"Try to lean over the railing if you really think you'll lose your breakfast," she encouraged, a gentle hand resting on his back.

Who knew the boy would actually be seasick?

It was already her third trip on this behemoth of luxury, but even her first time hadn't been...this.

"I've heard the lower you go, the steadier everything feels, too. Come on, maybe we should go back inside." Amazing as the gentle breeze felt, saturated with salt and a hint of adventure, it didn't seem to be doing the boy any good at all.

He was definitely going to be sick.

The boy's cheeks puffed as he closed his eyes, trying to distract himself from the unending swaying of the ship he'd wanted no part of.

Benji hadn't realized his fear of boats or the ocean - not until he was faced with it - and it had been a nearly visceral reaction. He'd merely shook his head, informing the Burkes that he would not be joining them on this voyage, and he had no real desire to see America anyway. England suited him just fine with its dreary weather and warm food. Who needed sunshine and New York rats and...whatever it was they ate there? Not him. Not Benji Laurence who was adamant he wasn't getting on that ship.

Roger Burke had opinions to the contrary, and before Benji could even figure out how, he had found himself a passenger on the luxury liner.

Complete with incessant rocking.

Hadn't these people ever heard of the Titanic? It was this voyage. This route, he was fairly certain that the doomed ship had rocked her way right into an iceberg. Boys like him hadn't survived it, but then again, Roger didn't seem too concerned about Benji's long-term survival.

Unbreakable Vow and all.

"Try to lean over the railing if you really think you'll lose your breakfast."

Helpful she was. Puke over the side of the ship, not on its deck.

Hell. Benji was in Hell.

He gagged as the salt air filled his nostrils, his whole face turning red as he fought to hold it in. The boy had thrown up countless times in his life - usually due to having drank too much. Never due to a bloody ship. Whatever Benji had been in his past life, it certainly hadn't been a pirate.

"I've heard the lower you go, the steadier everything feels, too. Come on, maybe we should go back inside."

He held up his hand with a slight shake of his head. "Moving makes it worse," he muttered, and flopped his elbows on the railing, dropping his head onto them in resignation. Maybe he should just launch himself over and call it a day. At least his misery would be ended now, and he wouldn't have to suffer a return trip.

Rae's misery hadn't gone unnoticed, but he was a little too distracted to be able to pay her the attention and reassurance she probably needed. A shit boyfriend. A shit fiancé. A shit shipmate.

"Maybe some club soda or something," he muttered into his arms, as another sway made him grip the railing a little tighter. "Or a lobotomy."

"Moving makes it worse."

For the love of Merlin. Rae had seen Benji take on Al-Tajir--even if he cried, she'd seen him take bludgers to the gut and skull, seen his scars after his trip to Syria, but this was the hill he chose to curl up and die on? This one? A luxury liner that didn't even share the same company as the fallen Titanic? He didn't flinch at the thought they'd die if they didn't marry each other, but a boat that swayed gently as it whisked them off to New York was somehow the final boss that he showed no hope of besting.

"Get it together, Benji. We've got maybe four or five days of this ahead of us--if we get lucky and they convince the captain to employ a bit of magic."

It was a Muggle liner through and through, but at set schedules, they had journeys that catered to a more magical clientele. They fudged the dates for records, cast illusions that distorted the sense of time for Muggles, all part of an elaborate cover-up, rather than explain how a ten-day trip took place in only 4 or 5. Her father was always sure to book those trips, not fancying over a week at sea when he was such a 'busy man'. While Rae was loath to give the man praise for anything, she could appreciate his practicality and disinterest in languishing in any one place for too long.

After about the second day, she was usually stir crazy and ready to disembark.

"Or a lobotomy."

She leaned against the railing next to him, taking in the deck and those who lounged in luxury. Muggles, nearly all of them. She'd been told once that only the rich could afford the view, and that there were areas best not ventured in because the people were 'beneath' them.

Rae had snuck into 2nd and 3rd class a few times to see for herself and thought they were far more her people than any of the stuffy aristos her father preferred she rub elbows with.

"I could get Mr. Burke," NOT her father, "to lobotomise you if you'd really like. I don't think he'd mind terribly. You're the one who'd have a problem after. Reckon I would too when talking to you becomes like talking to a drooling brick wall."

Her gaze fell on him again, her poor suffering boyfriend who'd sleep out there if no one eventually got him to move.

"I'll see what I can get from the dining hall. If nothing else, I'll find someone on the nursing staff and see if they've got anything good."

She eased off the railing but paused to look back at him. "Will you be alright until I get back?"

"You never loved me."

The boy groaned at his girlfriend as he hung his head over the railing, another gag causing him to retch audibly, much to the horror of a well-dressed woman walking by. She shrieked, jumping away as though Benji had been facing her, rather than the ocean that continued to mock him with its waves. And why shouldn't it?

His girlfriend continued to mock him with her words. As though he could help being seasick. As though he had chosen this life. As though he hadn't insisted he wasn't getting on this stupid boat in the first place, and yet wound up here anyway!

"You're the one who'd have a problem after. Reckon I would too when talking to you becomes like talking to a drooling brick wall."

He was already half way there. The boy retched again, this time spilling the little breakfast he had over the railing and into the waves below. He heaved, his heart thumping wildly while his face tingled with little sparks of misery. This had to be on the list of Top-Seven-Worst-Things-That-Had-Ever-Happened-To-Benji.

"I'll see what I can get from the dining hall. If nothing else, I'll find someone on the nursing staff and see if they've got anything good."

Words. She was saying words, but Benji couldn't hear them over his loud gagging. More was coming. More than he realized he had eaten.

"Will you be alright until I get back?"

"I hope I'm dead," he muttered, before retching again.

"You never loved me."

The drama.

Rae rolled her eyes but leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before he could start his retching. "I'll always love you, Benji," she said, taking a well-placed step back to avoid any back spray back onto the deck with this wind. "Even when you decide to be a 3-year-old about sea travel."

"I hope I'm dead."

So much drama.

"If you die, I'll never forgive you. Worse, I'll bring you back and kill you again." Something for him to think about, departing words that could offer him a degree of comfort while she went off on this wild goose chase. She'd find him something, anything, even if it was Muggle in nature. The sooner his insides stopped twisting, the sooner they could explore the ship together. There were a few interesting places she'd spotted on the last trip that she remembered being excited to show him should they ever have gotten the chance to share a ship.

"Don't fall over," she said, running her fingers once through his hair before heading off in the direction she was certain the dining hall sat.

---

A short while later

It wasn't ten minutes later that the other Burke girl sauntered out to the deck dressed in her Sunday best. It didn't take any time for her to spot the boy who hung dying off the railing. Lucy drifted over, a gentle hand landing across the boy's back.

Green eyes shimmered in the morning sun, warning of a hidden motive behind the sugar-sweet expression.

"Are you alright, Benji? You're not looking well." The girl inflected her accent, wanting it to sound more polished for the duke. Well, almost duke. She was still high off her little excursion within the U.K. and the regality of it all. The Laurences weren't monarchs, but she doubted half her friends back home even knew the difference especially not when she showed them pictures of the castle.

She stood back, allowing the boy to get out whatever else stirred in his stomach. "Here, I have some mints. Roger gets seasick, too. Mother packs them to help his stomach." The girl took his hand and gently turned him to face her, a wide smile waiting for him when he did. Carefully, she placed three of them into his palm before closing his fingers around them and leaning in. "They're special," she whispered by his ear. "Our elf infused them with herbs from the garden to make them ...more potent."

Lucy eased away, noting the boy's confusion and the questions in his eyes, questions that were only tempered by the absolutely ill-feeling that ravaged him. The girl had caught him looking at her a little like that the night before, seemingly unsure of what to make of her.

She would help him find out.

Lucy unwrapped one of her remaining mints and then reached out to carefully plop it into his mouth for him. He complied, his brain still too fried to make sense of any of it. She patted his chin to get him to fully close his mouth.

"You should begin to feel better soon."

It varied per person, and they'd really been made with Roger's smaller frame in mind, but it should have some effect.

Couldn't very well woo the boy who was offloading his insides. How would he pay attention to how beautiful she was if his head was constantly hung over a railing?

"If you die, I'll never forgive you. Worse, I'll bring you back and kill you again. Don't fall over."

He waved her off with a lackluster flip of his hand, taking only the slightest comfort in the brief tousling of his hair. If Benji wanted to be babied and taken care of, he certainly had picked the wrong girlfriend for the job.

He'd heard of some strange offsets in the muggle world - where a man could have more than one wife and everyone was fine with it. Some of them had three or four. While it sounded like a real pain in the ass, having four women barking at him all the time, he was certain at least one of them would take care of him when he was sick.

Surely.

Another bubbling in his stomach. Merlin, he hated this fucking ship.

---

A short while later

"Are you alright, Benji? You're not looking well."

"Fucking fantastic," the boy muttered without looking up, already certain of who it was. He didn't register the hand on his back, too distracted with the pounding in his head and the way he couldn't get the feeling of swaying back and forth to rid itself of him.

Lucy was an...interesting one. She'd been making weird faces at him since they'd met, and not in ways he'd easily deciphered. Rae seemed convinced that Lucy wanted him - whereas Benji was more of the mindset that the girl probably just had a weird twitch and low social awareness. It made the most sense to him. While there were no shortage of girls that were interested in him, surely Lucy wouldn't be interested in her sister's boyfriend. It was all sorts of weird, and no one wanted that sort of drama with Rae anyway.

Kaitlyn had felt the consequences of testing her.

"Here, I have some mints. Roger gets seasick, too. Mother packs them to help his stomach."

He vaguely registered his hand being grabbed, turning him to face the girl who was giving him that strange look again. Her smile wide, green eyes sparkling at him in a way that made him crinkle his eyebrows and take a step back. A small feat, considering he was already right up against the railing. She placed the mints in his hand, cupping her own around them.

"They're special. Our elf infused them with herbs from the garden to make them ...more potent."

So...

Benji pursed his lips, looking at the mints in his hand. They were like the herbs he smoked? Huh. As he glanced back up to ask, questions swimming in his eyes, she suddenly shoved a mint straight between his parted lips, his brain misfiring at the sudden touch.

What the fuck was happening? Benji blinked, once, twice, three times before he registered her patting his chin to indicate he should close it.

"You should begin to feel better soon."

"Uhh...thanks Lucy," he said, tucking the mint into his cheek and shoving the rest into his pockets. He didn't feel better, and didn't anticipate he would, but at least someone around here seemed to care.

WHICH WAS MORE THAN HE COULD SAY FOR HIS MEAN GIRLFRIEND WHO'D ABANDONED HIM.

He didn't know what else to say as he stared at the girl who...stared right back at him. "You having a good time so far?"

He was cute when he was confused.

Lucy stepped closer, tenderly placing a hand on his arm now that he'd accepted the mints.

Benji was a boy without a clue. Weren't they all? Patrick was a clueless boy, too. He meant well, very roguish with strong but dirty hands. Sometimes, she wondered if the boy owned soap, but Merlin knew he had the prettiest blue eyes in the entire state. He wasn't a duke, though. He wasn't anything. Just a stable hand that her father paid a little extra to teach her how to ride. Benji Laurence had titles and a castle.

And such pretty hazel eyes, even when they clouded with bewilderment she could almost feel dripping off him. Still a boy, though he was only a year younger than her. She could tell by the way he failed to acknowledge her advances that he was still very inexperienced when it came to the fairer sex.

It was also cute.

She would do what she could to correct that during his stay at Grantham Hall.

Uhh...thanks Lucy."

She gave a dainty giggle, throwing her head back by only the faintest degree. "It's no trouble at all. Once you've settled a bit, maybe we can find somewhere to sit and talk." Her hand slid down his arm, pleased by the firmness she found there. He was strong, like Patrick. Her smile widened. "I find this whole thing goes by a lot smoother with good company and some tea!" The girl herself had never been overly fond of the stuff, but she could certainly play the part to impress the boy.

Such sophistication. Such high breeding.

"You having a good time so far?"

The girl brightened at the interest he took in her.

"Oh, I'm having the most darling time! I've only just discovered my friend Rebecca and her family are also on this ship. She's just over there," Lucy said, pointing him toward a pair of chairs set close together, one occupied by a girl with short, strawberry blonde swirls and the other with the magazine Lucy had been reading before she spotted her opportunity.

Her friend waved at them when she saw she was being spoken about, and Lucy waved back, tickled to have succeeded in talking to the boy.

Her expression softened. "It doesn't look like you're having a good time, though. Is it your first time?"

She stepped closer and Benji's eyes widened as he made a show of tilting his head as far back from her as he could manage without being upside down.

What - what was her problem? She was staring at him in that strange way that Kaitlyn often did and...

Oh. Oh no.

No, no, no, no.

Benji's eyes suddenly shot around the immediate vicinity looking for Rae. She was right. Her sister liked him, and he wanted absolutely nothing to do with this. The girl laughed, throwing her head back and his eyebrows came together in horror. Fuck. If Rae walked in on this, she'd think he was...she'd think...

He could throw up again. Yep. He could do that. Throw up on Lucy's shoes and freak her out. Get her to run off screaming or something. He yanked his arm away, as she trailed her hand down it. Was she insane? Did she not know who her sister was? Did she not recognize the mortal peril they were both in if Lucy kept this shit up?

Rae had pushed Kaitlyn Dwyer down the stairs for her troubles. Benji shuddered to think what her girlfriend would do on a ship - in the middle of the ocean.

"I find this whole thing goes by a lot smoother with good company and some tea!"

"Umm," his lips opened and shut a few times, trying to find the words to say 'no thank you', but they weren't coming. Instead he just stared stupidly at her, the sloshing in his stomach making fast work of his nerves, threatening another round of barfing.

"Oh, I'm having the most darling time! I've only just discovered my friend Rebecca and her family are also on this ship. She's just over there."

Benji followed her finger to another girl in a nearby chair waving at them. As if one girl hitting on him wasn't enough, Benji wasn't about to go and make himself comfortable with two. He needed to get out of this situation, quickly, before everything went to hell.

"It doesn't look like you're having a good time, though. Is it your first time?"

He hadn't been this uncomfortable with a girl since...well that bus ride in CoMC. "Uh, yeah..." he said dryly, running a hand through his salt-ridden hair. "Listen Lucy, I-I should go. Rae's probably looking for me. I shouldn't keep her waiting." He tried to step around her, swallowing hard, the mint accidentally sliding down his throat whole.

"Fuck," he croaked, coughing and pounding on his chest to get it down, his whole face scrunching up at the pain that suddenly lodged itself in his throat.

This really couldn't get much worse.

"Listen Lucy, I-I should go. Rae's probably looking for me. I shouldn't keep her waiting."

The girl’s eyes sparkled with amusement.”Looking for you? Last I saw, she was headed for the dining room. Probably off to stuff her face for a second time. The girl’s insatiable. Mother says she’ll be fat before she’s twenty at the rate she’s going.” Lucy displayed no shame in disparaging the girl meant to be her sister, delivering her cutting remarks with little more than a smile as she reached for the arm he’d pulled away to give it another squeeze.

He seemed so strong. She bet he could pick her up without breaking a sweat, carrying her around like the handsome men from the books her friends sometimes let her borrow. Wouldn’t that be an adventure? She would be the envy of them for surely they dreamt about such things but had never been so lucky in reality

He stepped to the left, she stepped in front of him, cutting off his path before he could make a run for it. Now that the girl had him cornered, the very last thing she wanted to do was have him slip through her fingers.

"Fuck."

A terrible predicament indeed. Should the boy have wondered whether things could really get worse, he was about to find out first hand how willing the universe was to keep the ball rolling.

Lucy was calm through the boy’s choking, having been trained in basic first aid. The girl got behind him, her hands gripping each other and her thumb at his sternum pressing in.

Somewhere within those harrowing moments, Rae had reappeared.

True to her word, she’d eventually made her way to the nursing station and had gotten some medication suitable for the nausea caused by seasickness. Loving the role of nurse and nurturer, Rae had been thrilled to return and patch the boy up. What greeted herself instead was a slap in the face. Lucy rubbing at his arm, whispering by his ear—the boy choking the moment their eyes met.

Was there ever a clearer sign of a guilty conscious. He couldn’t even swallow his sweet.

By the time she got over there, Lucy was already pressing into his chest, her words low and soothing as she tried to take him through the ways she was trying to help.

“The hell is going on here?” she demanded, coming to a stop before the two. Benji was choking but she was a little busy being devastated to notice.

What were they both doing out there? What could Benji have needed to say to her sister? Suddenly, it made sense that he hadn’t wanted to follow her below deck. Of course, he wouldn’t want to leave his post, not when he clearly had plans to meet Lucy there the moment she was gone.

”I’ve brought you medicine, hoping you feel well and you’re over here having the time of your life with her!”

Nothing more than a carefully thought out ruse and her the dummy for rolling with it instead of grabbing the boy by the ears and dragging him off with her to see the ship’s nurse.

“I was actually worried about you when you’ve been fine this whole fucking time!” Rae tossed the small bottle of what was once anti-nausea medicine by them and off the deck, too far up to hear the splash when it hit the water’s surface.

One of them was going next.

If Benji weren't choking to death on a mint, his eyes would have darkened. He would have taken a step closer to Lucy, making sure she understood the distance between them wasn't out of want or interest. His reprimand would have come quick and fast - telling her to watch what she said about his girlfriend. He might have even added in that no matter what size, Rae would always be more beautiful than Lucy, and she'd be lucky to find any decent wizard who would marry a squib.

But alas, he was choking, and he couldn't say any of it.

When she got behind him, he almost swung, but stopped himself - having never hit a girl in his life and certainly wouldn't break that record over Lucy. He was better than that. Instead he squirmed, wiggling his way out of her grasp, shoving her arms away even as he continued to fight the mint for his life.

“The hell is going on here?”

The mint suddenly dislodged itself as Benji's eyes grew wide, flying up his throat and onto the deck with a light clatter. Merlin, this was all he needed. Rae was notorious for jumping to conclusions, but in her defense it didn't look the greatest, did it?

"Rae," he rasped, reaching for her, even as he decidedly shoved Lucy's hands away from him again. She knew him. He would never fool around on her - certainly not with her relatives. He wasn't an asshole - not in that way, anyway. "Save me from her," he tried, but she was already freaking out. Fantastic.

”I’ve brought you medicine, hoping you feel well and you’re over here having the time of your life with her!”

No. No he wasn't. He was having the worst time, thank you. Between the nausea, the choking and Lucy Burke's unwanted hands all over him he was having by far the worst time of his life.

Sort of. He had technically had more harrowing times, but in the stratosphere of experiences that included his girlfriend, this was top three. Easily.

“I was actually worried about you when you’ve been fine this whole fucking time!”

"I'm really not!" he argued, his palms held out to try and show her that he wasn't. "You saw me puke just ten minutes ago! She came outta nowhere. I don't like her. She's weird." He glared at Lucy, motioning for her to back off.

"Of all people, you think I'd fuck around with your sister?" He shook his head, as another wave of nausea took over him. He needed to lie down. "I'll be in my room if you need me."

Save him?

Save him?

The only thing she was going to 'save' was her father the hassle of burying Lucy by offering her a burial at sea. Out of nowhere, Benji was unwell again, as if she didn't just walk up to him and her sister getting cosy by the guardrails. As if, while she crossed the deck, she hadn't seen the girl whispering in his ear. Did he take her for an idiot? Stupid question, he probably did. Lucy wouldn't be the first girl he refused to be firm about, and the stairs were too far away for her to currently do anything about that.

What did that leave her with except egg on her face while her sister smiled down at her with spite? The girl thought herself so clever, didn't she? Always trying to be one step in front, always trying to ruin anything she suspected Rae cared for. Now, she'd set her sights on Benji, and the big dope didn't know he was meant to shove her into the sea from the moment she locked those sharp, cat-eyes on him.

Was it really asking too much that he set clearer and harder boundaries and physically enforce them where necessary?

Benji wasn't a good guy--not the way most people meant it. He didn't open the door for strangers, he didn't surrender the last of his meat to someone who wanted it more, didn't like studying, was an off-putting braggart when it came to Quidditch, but throw in a pretty girl. Out of nowhere, he was all charming smiles--or frozen. Inexplicably, the boy suddenly couldn't remember how to say no or what it meant to be an unpleasant git that could set anyone's blood boiling.

"I'm just being nice," he liked to say.

He was always trying to be nice. He didn't get it.

"I'm really not! You saw me puke just ten minutes ago! She came outta nowhere. I don't like her. She's weird."

Not weird enough for him to shove.

Lucy, shameless girl that she was when she was getting her way, paid no attention to Benji's rebuke. Being called 'weird' was a small price to pay for the bit of havoc she'd managed to bring to the pair, and the satisfaction plastered across her face was unmistakable. She'd done whatever she meant to do, and with a flourish of her dress's skirt and a flip of her hair, she walked by them both to return to her friend--but not before running her hand along Benji's arm one last time.

"Of all people, you think I'd fuck around with your sister? I'll be in my room if you need me."

Him, too.

They'd done what they wanted, and now, with their party crashed, it seemed neither of them had any intention of sticking around to face her. She was seething.

Rae watched Benji walk away, too stunned to go after him--too choked up with anger to believe that following after him would result in any greater good.

It was going to be a long four days at sea. Merlin help them if it stretched into five.