when night comes ~ benji

Thursday, January 26th 1922
03:08am

Gasping for air, Maevie startled awake, the remnants of a scream on her lips. Eyes wide and heart racing she scrambled backwards in her bed, frantically kicking at her sheets and covers to get away from the man's manic eyes, gleaming red as he aimed his wand at her with a cruel twist of his mouth.

Slowly, the dorm came into focus, quiet and dark. Familiar silhouettes of trunks and closets, the sound of peaceful breathing, and it washed over her with a merciful wave of relief.

A dream. She had been dreaming.

Maevie released a shaky breath, rubbing a hand over her chest to ease the painful drumming of her heart but the feeling lingered. Like he was looming over her still, his phantom grasp on her mind intensified since Christmas and coming to haunt her almost every night.

A glance at her clock told her that at least this night, she had made it almost to the morning before Thayer's ghost came in to rip her from sleep and sanity. She wiped her hands over her face, cold sweat clinging to her body like a film. Closing her eyes, Maevie took a moment to press the balls of her palms over her eyes, as though the pressure could banish the flashing images back towards the recesses of her mind.

Things had gotten worse. The nightmares had been there from the start, but never as frequent and never as fierce. Undisturbed sleep had become a rarity, leaving her sluggish and slow during class. At times she barely managed to stay awake, had fallen asleep more times than was advisable. Meal breaks often functioned as nap time with no time to eat.

The hunger usually came at night then, when she sat in bed and fought the shadows away.

Maevie swung her legs out of bed, feet sliding into fuzzy slippers. Quietly she moved through the room, throwing her bathrobe on and grabbing the photo album her mum had given her for Christmas. Bunny stuffy held close to her chest, Maevie left her dorm.

Only to find she wasn't alone.

"Benji? Why are you up?", she asked mutedly, halting in the archway leading into the open space that was their common room.

"Benji? Why are you up?"

Hmm?

The boy glanced over his shoulder, seeing his little comrade-in-arms descending the stairs. He shrugged lightly, turning back to the sketch he'd been working on all night.

A large room, ornately decorated with heavy drapes and lush carpets. A large window where moonlight poured in, offering the only illumination. He frowned at the image of cold eyes, prominent in the center, grabbing the viewer's attention and holding them in its depths. He smudged out a corner, blending and pulling the charcoal down the parchment in soft edges.

The scar, black and green, deep and penetrating both sides of his dominate hand ached, making it hard for him to sleep or do anything that didn't pull his focus elsewhere.

"Just drawing I guess," he said quietly, glancing up at the clock. Shit. It was already three and he had class at seven. He couldn't afford another detention if he fell asleep in class; his mum had already threatened to occupy all his time for the next month with grading papers if she got one more report that he wasn't doing what he was supposed to.

His gaze moved to the little girl who he beckoned to sit down beside him.

"Can't sleep when my hand hurts," he said, offering her a half-smile. But why was she up? "You okay?" he asked. He nudged her with his shoulder. "Look like you've seen a ghost."

Slippers shuffling over stone and rugs, Maevie made her way down the last step. She hadn't expected anyone to be up, no one usually was at this hour of night. But the sight of her friend, his incidental company, made the cold of her nightmare cling a little less just by default, the weight on her chest a little less oppressing.

Rounding the couch she dropped down next to him, stuffed bunny hugged tightly to her chest, knees pulled in. Her gaze landed on his drawing, immediately pulled towards the eyes in its centre and sending an involuntary jolt through her core.

She quickly looked away, focusing on her stuffy's long ears instead, hands running along their soft fabric as Benji looked around.

"Can't sleep when my hand hurts."

She snuck a furtive glance sideways, curiously sweeping over the scar on his hand. It looked bad, the kind that reminded her of an evil curse. Green and black it ran in deep indentations through his skin, like a shattered mirror's edges. She had often wondered about it, what had happened, but she'd never dared ask.

It surely couldn't have been anything ordinary though. She had seen magic heal many things, leaving no trace behind. As though bones and skin had never been broken at all.

Her own palm tingled faintly at the thought. The healers at St. Mungo's hadn't been able to erase those scars either.

Benji nudged her with his shoulder and out of her head. "Just a nightmare," she shrugged lightly, glancing at him with a wry smile. "And I was hungry. I missed lunch yesterday." A beat as her eyes pulled back to his drawing. "And dinner." Her brow creased. When was the last time she had made it to all mealtimes?

"Just a nightmare."

He knew well about those. When he was younger, especially around Maevie's age, Benji had suffered from nightmares as well. Abstract figures that haunted his dream, shapes and shadows, screams and demonic eyes. Hazel eyes washed over the younger girl who clung to her stuffed rabbit, her small hands stroking the soft ears for comfort.

"And I was hungry. I missed lunch yesterday. And dinner."

Rae was like that. The girl often stayed up all night, sometimes missing meal times due to oversleeping during the day. It had always worried him about her, and now Maevie was doing the same.

He sat for a moment, turning his eyes back his sketch. It was a hard thing, trying to navigate something so dark and horrifying on your own and he could only imagine the things poor Maevie had seen and been subjected to. He'd only been a few months older than her when he'd gotten the scar on his hand.

"Well that won't do," he said, forcing cheer into his voice as he slapped the book shut. "Luckily I know a house elf that loves to feed kids at all hours." He stood up and held out his hand to Maevie. "C'mon. I'll introduce you to Toddles and we'll get you something to eat."

"Well that won't do."

Maevie looked up at Benji, his subtle cheer pushing back the clouds that had rolled in again, making room for a small smile. Mentions of a house elf did the rest and her eyes flashed with curiosity and excitement.

She loved the house elves! Their floppy ears and long noses, their big eyes and kind smiles. Every time she encountered one of them they were nothing but attentive, caring and generous. She loved to pester them with questions and hear about their lives.

Sometimes, late at night, one of them appeared in the common room out of thin air to tend to the fire and tidy up the room. They always tried to shoo her into bed but she never let them, tying them up in nonsensical chatter instead.

When Benji held out his hand, Maevie didn't hesitate. She took it and scrambled off the couch, a newfound spark of joy pushing the lingering terror to the outskirts of her mind. Not enough to thrust it out completely — she had made the sinking realization it might be here to stay — but for now it helped to let some warmth seep back in.

Her growling stomach answered in turn.

"Do you think Toddles has pudding?", she asked hopefully, pulling him along towards the common room's exit. She guessed they were headed for the kitchens. "I like the chocolate one better but vanilla is fine too."

A beat of silence passed before the words that had pressed against her tongue tumbled out like a thought she couldn't hold. "What- what happened to you hand?", she asked hurriedly, looking at him with apprehension. She didn't want him to think she was being rude or intrusive. Her mum always said it didn't do to pry into other people's business. But this was different, Maevie told herself. This was like her.

His forced smile turned into a wide grin at her enthusiasm, his hand closing protectively around hers. In many ways, Maevie reminded him of the way Kate used to be. Bouncing, bubbly. Always happy as long as their mother was pacified and lethargic. His little sister had had a zest for the big wide world, until it had all closed in around her.

He hoped Maevie wouldn't fall victim to the same. Trauma was a strange thing in how it affected different people. He was the type to bury it, smile it away and keep moving. Sometimes a vice or two helped with that.

He was learning, through the therapy his mother insisted on him attending twice a week, that there were healthier coping mechanisms and better ways to manage the emotions that came with what had happened to him. Talking about it, being willing to say something hurt. Not shutting everyone out.

"Do you think Toddles has pudding? I like the chocolate one better but vanilla is fine too."

"Probably," he answered as she pulled him out the common room door and down the corridor towards the kitchens. "Toddles always has good stuff at night." As a younger student, Benji had had to sneak around to get his late night snacks, but now that he was a prefect, he didn't give a good god damn about anyone else. Let Matilda try and tell him he shouldn't be out of bed. He'd ask her why she was out of hers.

Nosy girl his best friend was.

"What- what happened to you hand?"

Oh. His hand. Benji glanced down for a moment, taking in the green and black scar. "Long time ago," he said, willing to talk about it now that his counselor said it didn't make him less of a man to do so, "I had a..." He trailed off. That part - the part about the man who'd almost adopted him - wasn't one he was willing to talk about yet. "I met a dark wizard somewhere far from here." He swung their hands lightly to try and keep the energy upbeat.

"Really bad bloke. He trapped me and someone I used to be friends with away from our families. For no reason other than he just liked to hurt people." Sort of like what Thayer had done to the girls. Took them, hurt them for no reason other than it served his own purposes. "He had this cursed knife. Went through my hand." He gave a little shrug. There had been a lot more that took place, but there was no reason to scare Maevie.

She'd seen and heard enough on her own.

Coming up on the portrait to the kitchens, Benji tickled the pear and tugged her through the doorway as it opened.

"Benji Cuddrun is here!" Toddles said, still not quite understanding that the boy's last name had changed quite some time ago. It didn't bother the boy. Sometimes it was nice to be reminded of who he used to be.

"Who is this? Another bitty Hufflepuff?"

She listened to his story, glancing in between his hand, his eyes and the corridor, brow drawn thoughtfully.

It sounded horrible, worse than what his light-hearted mood suggested. She couldn't help but see the parallels to her own kidnapping. Taken against their will, trapped in a secluded place, hurt because these men had liked to do it, to get what they wanted. Even their injuries were similar.

There was a soft kind of comfort in that, an unspoken understanding, and for the first time in almost a year, she didn't feel so alone anymore.

Maevie didn't talk about her trauma. Only once to the Aurors when the professors had freed them, once to her mother, once to the healers at St. Mungo's. Never again after that. Maybe she would have, to Ever. Her friend. But Ever was gone, the girl she used to know broken and replaced by a scattered, volatile version that Maevie couldn't reach anymore.

The thought caused a pang of sorrow and guilt, and she quickly shook it from her head.

The things that happened to her and Ever and Rae were too big to really look at, too all-encompassing and consuming, so Maevie looked past them. That had worked well enough at first, but it seemed as though these parts of her soul — tainted and lonely — were forcefully working their way out of their cage. Offended for the lack of attention, they barged in with claws and teeth, shredding towards the forefront of her brain.

Begging to be acknowledged but it simply hurt too much.

She remained quiet as they walked, fallen back into her head until the portrait to the kitchens swung open and a squeaky, excited voice broke through her thoughts.

Maevie's mood brightened within the second.

"Hi Toddles!", she waved, her stuffed bunny's ears flapping wildly. "I'm Maevie. Do you have pudding? I missed dinner yesterday and I woke up from— from being hungry!"

"Hi Toddles! I'm Maevie. Do you have pudding? I missed dinner yesterday and I woke up from— from being hungry!"

Benji grinned, sauntering his way through the kitchen as the house elf began his usual tutting and fussing whenever a student entered his domain at this sort of hour. Toddles was always afraid of getting into trouble, but Benji was a prefect now and had seen to it that the house elf understood that meant he was the boss.

And if he were the boss, certainly nothing could go wrong.

"Miss Maevie!" Toddles gushed, taking the younger girl by the hand and leading her towards the main wooden counter where he had stacked all of the dishes for tomorrow morning's prep. "Miss Maevie must never come after curfew without Mister Benji. Lots of trouble Toddles will be in, yes?"

Benji rolled his eyes with amusement and swung open the pantry door, happy to begin rummaging around for whatever tickled his fancy. Usually the elves kept a fair amount of biscuits and crisps in here...somewhere. He pushed a few baskets to the side and opened a few cabinets, his lips pursing in pursuit of his hoard.

"Pudding I have. But tell anyone, Miss Maevie musn't." The elf smiled, dipping his hand in the direction of the oversized icebox. It flew open, and out came a large bowl of the chocolatey dessert, landing itself on the counter in front of the younger Hufflepuff.

Meanwhile, Benji had found the muffins and was currently stuffing two in his face.

The house elf dished some, while watching the younger girl curiously. "Why did Miss Maevie miss dinner? Does she not like roasted chicken?"

"He's a nosy sort, Marge," Benji said, ducking his head out the pantry with a full mouth. "Don't mind him. But if you chat him up, he'll give you more treats."

Toddles shot the boy an annoyed glance, before Benji smirked and went back to minding his muffins.

Toddles took her by the hand and led her further into the kitchen. "Miss Maevie must never come after curfew without Mister Benji. Lots of trouble Toddles will be in, yes?"

She grinned widely and nodded her head. "Yes!", she promised solemnly. Lucky for her, Benji was usually up after curfew anyway. Convincing him to go get a late night snack surely wasn't hard to accomplish either. The older Hufflepuff was already rummaging through the pantry which Maevie briefly followed with a suppressed giggle.

"Pudding I have. But tell anyone, Miss Maevie musn't."

With no more than a mere dip if his hand, Toddles summoned a large bowl of pudding. It softly thudded onto the table and Maevie clapped happily, bouncing in the spot. "Promise!", she assured her discretion, eyes glued to the dessert sat before her. Toddles was beginning to shovel some into a separate bowl when he asked, "Why did Miss Maevie miss dinner? Does she not like roasted chicken?"

"He's a nosy sort, Marge. Don't mind him. But if you chat him up, he'll give you more treats."

Maevie shot her friend an admonishing look. "Don't be mean, Benji!", she exclaimed with wide eyes, although the amused grin played over her lips nonetheless. "I do like roasted chicken," she went on, gaze back to the elf across. "But I fell asleep after classes and didn't wake up until dinner was already done." She gave a light shrug, casual, as though this was a perfectly normal thing to happen.

Her messed up sleep schedule definitely wasn't normal and the reason for it wasn't either. She knew, deep down, and tried her best to pretend at normalcy, never letting on any of the misery that haunted her, the guilt and fear. It wasn't that bad after all. Seeing how Ever was fairing, Maevie felt like she really hadn't a right to complain. Besides, things would probably go back to normal soon, so no need to worry herself or anyone else, least of all her mum.

She just needed to get through this bump in the road and all would be fine again.

Her stomach gave a rumble, demanding compensation for her earlier nap and Maevie smiled apologetically. "You don't happen to have some roasted chicken left over too?"