Baubles and Bubbles | Library Assistant One-Shot

Sunday, April 17, 1921
Noon
.˚○ • °

It was everyone's favorite day of the year.

Julia's little assistants had worked hard for the better of seven months now - the baubles of course, the students left a bit to be desired - overseeing the day to day enforcement of library rules and etiquette. A thankless role, really. Her baubles were often the target of ire and disdain, despite them upholding and maintaining a sense of dignity and order within the library walls. Without which, the entire establishment would descend into anarchy of snogging and Merlin knew what else.

It was their day to be pampered.

As the assistants gathered around the main study area of the library, they would find a round wooden wash basin for each of them, already filled with warm water and a basket of soaps, cloths and brushes next to them.

With a wave of her wand, Julia summoned all of the baubles into the immediate area. "You know the drill," she said to her students, a small smile playing on her lips. "Each one needs a good washing. They've gathered dust and...plenty of other abuse over the past several months." She glanced up at one, holding her palm flat for it. The bauble sank gently into her hand, purring as it nestled in. "Some of the baubles will come right to you. Others, as you know, will take a little coaxing."

She nodded towards the basins. "Do what you must to get them looking as good as new. Washed, scrubbed, dried and polished. And I don't want to hear any complaints about bites." Her students should know better by now how to interact them well enough to not be bitten - or at least only suffer a nip here or there.

"When you're done, bring your bauble to my office for a look-over."

---

OOC: Welcome to the annual Library Assistant one-shot! This thread is required participation in order to pass Library Assistant for the term. For those who are not aware of what a one-shot is, it is a thread where you are required to post only once in the thread. In your post, you will write out your character's entire reaction and actions, beginning to end.

For this one-shot you'll be responsible for 'catching' a bauble, however you decide to do it. You'll wash, scrub, dry and polish your bauble before turning it into Julia for inspection. The baubles are extremely temperamental and most will not take kindly to bath day. You may get lucky (up to you!) and get a rather docile bauble, but the vast majority will give you a hard time. Baubles often bite, scream, blare alarms while turning red, squirm, wiggle and overall exhibit menace behavior. They are also quite...strong for being able to fit in the palm of your hand.

Anyway, your post is completely in your control! Use magic, use your hands, just make it fun and creative! Assume Julia approves when you bring the bauble to her for inspection at the end of your post.

All posts are due by November 21, 2025. At that time this thread will close for grading. Please remember to track all of your Library Assistant work on your trackers here.

Feel free to reach out to me on discord (@.ambers. or Wylder Merrow) if you have any questions!

"They've gathered dust and...plenty of other abuse over the past several months."

Well, then, whose fault was that? The baubles were the real menaces of the library, biting, nudging, screeching like banshees. Was it any wonder they'd suffer some abuse? And it wasn't as if they didn't give as good as they got either. These days, Rae had to choose her battles very carefully when it came to those palm-sized terrors.

Due to circumstances outside of her control, Rae no longer snogged in the library. She tried not to eat in there, too--mostly because a double attack from baubles and Ellen wasn't her idea of a good time, but then there were other times when she didn't feel like being so careful.

"I don't know why you subject us all to this every year," Rae complained, side eyeing a bauble that looked about ready to devour her soul. "They don't like it, and I've gotten enough bites this week already."

It didn't work. Did it ever when it came to Julia? Sometimes, when the concessions weren't so great. Otherwise, Rae had become accustomed to that sweet smile the woman offered her while casually ignoring her protests. This was one of those days, and all the girl really received was a light nudge at her back and the encouragement to get herself a good one before they were all gone. It sounded like there was a warning somewhere in there. A threat? Something. All Rae knew was that, as a library volunteer, she wasn't about to get out of this unholy ritual.

It was a good thing she had a hospital wing shift not long after she would be done here. Rae suspected that by the time she finally got her bauble clean, she would fit right in with the patients.

First things first, catching one of Julia's ornery hellions.

Rae did know how they were and what they were capable of. Rather than spend half of her afternoon chasing and diving and ducking and running...and...and screaming, she would immediately take matters into her own hands.

Rae conjured herself a small rope net, then, with the bauble distracted by the screaming of its friend, she tossed it. Immediately, it shrieked, trying to pull itself free. She grabbed the end of the net to ensure it couldn't break free, but that was only half the struggle. As had always been the case, the bloody thing was strong. For a girl who weighed barely anything, even dripping wet, it made for an...interesting time.

The bauble began to drag her along until Rae finally managed to dig her heels in enough to anchor herself. "Oi! Knock it off! I don't wanna do this any more than you do! Come on."

It wasn't listening. Of course, it wasn't. They never did. It wasn't her first time trying to bargain with one of these things, and seldom did it work out in her favour. Rather than fight a losing battle, Rae tied the end of the net to one of the legs of the table upon which her wash basin stood. Let the hunk of wood figure it out. In the meantime, she pulled against the rope of the net. Inch by inch, she got the bauble closer, wrangling it like you would any wild thing that refused to be tamed. When it was close enough to the basin, Rae launched herself at it, pushing down on it to get it submerged with a splash that sent soapy water spilling in several directions.

Good thing she hadn't been near any of the shelves.

"You're already in there, let's just get this over with!"

Rae used one hand to keep it down, grabbing a scrubbing brush with her other. It flailed in the water, the splashes continuing. A drowning man went down more gracefully than this thing. Luckily, she hadn't given up her training as a beater despite the lack of Quidditch for the term. That strength came in handy now as she gave the bauble a quick scrubbing.

When she finally finished and tried releasing it, it lunged for her, ready to reward her efforts with a chomp to remember it by. The girl was one step ahead. She reached for the small drying towel and threw it over the angry bauble. While it tried nipping at her, she used the proximity to get it dried and shining.

"There, good as new."

And willing to follow her to Julia, it seemed.

She wouldn't question it. Whatever animosity existed between them had dissipated now that she'd stopped trying to get it clean. The pair walked side by side to the inspection, and while Julia had to squint for a second to make sure the girl had done a good job, in the end, she got the approval she wanted.

Before Rae could begin to explain her injuries, she was already being hurried off so the next person could have their bauble checked.

Justice truly was dead.

It wasn't his favourite time to be a library asisstant--certaninly not a head assistant--but it also wasn't the sort of thing he'd be willing to spend the next half hour moaning about. It always happened, at least once a year, and while the Ravenclaw could do without being attacked for doing what he was told, he also knew he wasn't in a position to really refuse--none of them were. They'd signed up for all duties related to the library, and risking his fingers and the tip of his nose happened to be one of those duties.

"When you're done, bring your bauble to my office for a look-over."

It was simple enough. Well...as simple as this sort of thing ever happened to be. He was ready. Cassian had already told himself he would wrestle a bit, get a few bites, maybe have his ears bleeding from the effort of corraling the bloody thing, then when he was on the cusp of giving up, a new dawn would break, a light would pop on from somewhere on the left, the bauble would realise the boy offered him something resembling salvation in the form of a bath and the performance would wind down.

There was just...the whole first part. The fighting. The tantrum over not wanting to be bathed and bothered. Cass sucked in a breath as he looked around for a bauble that he could claim.

Brown eyes searched the area, finding several now already attacking the assistants. Just then, something smacked him softly in the back of the head.

Hm?

Turning, he found himself face to...er...--did they have faces...?--face with a bauble of his own. Cassian shot it a sceptical look, immediately taking a wide step back just in case this one, seeing what befell its friends, decided it wanted to be on the defensive. The bauble just...floated over again until it smacked in softly in the face. The boy blinked, not sure what to make of this docile--or lethargic--little guy in the sea of chaos that surrounded them.

It could have been a trap...though he'd never seen the baubles make traps before. Were they that clever?

It bumped lightly into him again, refocusing him on the task at hand. Right. Better to take advantage of whatever good fortune this was turning out to be before it changed its mind. Cass poked it with his index finger, nudging it along toward the wash basin. It didn't quite nestle itself into the water when they got there, but rather seemed to just...sink down like it didn't have the energy to stay up anymore.

Huh.

The trap was getting more elaborate.

Cassian moved over to the basin where he carefully scrubbed. Occasionally, the bauble floated from one side to the next, tilting to allow the boy better access for cleaning. When he was done, it pulled itself limply back into the air before depositing itself on the towel nearby. It didn't move, not even when Cassian began poking it with his finger again.

"Uh...you alright, mate...? Don't fancy a bite? Not even a little one?"

It flopped onto its side, almost as if it expected something.

"Right. I didn't suppose so." Was it...broken? Where was this thing the last time he'd stolen a kiss from his girlfriend inside the library?

It let Cass dry then shine it before plopping itself gently into his hand, further unnerving the boy. He'd come in with a plan and had prepared himself. Even now, his nerves were on edge. He felt that, at any moment, it would remember what it was and then turn on him, but even after he dropped it off with Julia, it just rolled into her hand like it was ready for a second round of pampering.

Stranger and stranger.

Once the woman verified a job well done, Cassian excused himself, but not before taking a final look at the bauble that was...clearly unwell.

Bear was here on bauble cleaning day purely as one of his housemates bet him he couldn’t clean the bauble without getting bit. A bet he intended to win. He didn’t care about any of the other antics of the baubles his only goal was to get one clean without being bit.

His housemate also didn’t put any qualifiers on how prepared he could be for this day. He wore his dragon hide gloves which were in rather good condition as he didn’t take Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology this term. He put earmuffs over his ears after the instructions were given and before he collected his bauble.

He was more than ready for the battle ahead.

First he went and grabbed a bauble which wasn’t hard. He had months of experience and knew they liked to float round and complain about things. He climbed on a bookcase and then conjured some gum on the top of a table - he’d clean it later. It was so obvious the bauble complained and as it floated distracted past him he grabbed it in his gloved hand.

With a bauble in his hand he took seat at the station he’d prepared early to clean and polish it. The squirming and screaming bauble had a tub waiting just for it along with a couple piles of towels one of which was already pre-dipped in the polishing. He had a plan and it would be best if the bauble relaxed and just went with it. Maybe singing to the bauble like the baby it was acting like would be best.

The tune that escaped his mouth as he cleaned the bauble was.

”Rub-a-dub-dub
A bauble in a tub”

Then he heard his bauble start squealing as he put it in the water. His earmuffs weren’t enough. He pulled out griping it tightly in his gloved hands so it couldn’t bite him.

”Who do you think you are?
The baby, The Barn Owl,”

He paused as he struggled to think of a third thing that screamed to compare the bauble to. Though he didn’t abandon his cleaning as he grabbed a few towels to wrap and capture his bauble in. A bauble that seemed to bite out the towels. Thankfully, the bet only involved him getting bit not towels being destroyed or his classmates ear drums being overwhelmed.

”Or a monster with a growl”

The next step was to polish it which was the next set of towels he transferred the bauble to in his hands letting it bite any towel it wanted to. He wondered if the bauble biting a towel with polish on it also polished its teeth. Hopefully, Professor Laurence would give him extra credit of thinking of the baubles dental hygiene polishing as well as its outside polishing.

”Or are you just here to spar”

He let the bauble polish itself with its fight as he switched towels about with polish for it to fight against. Seriously the bauble was doing the real scrubbing work for itself.

When he thought it was done he walked to Julia’s office and released the bauble. Once it was accepted as cleaned and polished he walked out of Julia’s office and said to his housemate as he took off his gloves. Waving his hands flipping them to either side so people could see them he said to his housemate “ You owe me a galleon. “

He won the bet. His third year housemate sulked.

OOC Note: All words in centered text are the lullaby he’s singing to the bauble as he works….

Rosalie had arrived early to help Julia set up for bath day. Most of the assistants dreaded the day when they had to actively engage with the floating menaces, but Rosie didn't mind so much. She knew how to wrangle them well enough that she mostly avoided bites and shrieks from them on a day-to-day basis, and she was sure at this point, a bath would be fairly uneventful.

She did wonder, however, why Julia didn't just deactivate all of them to make this a little easier? For a woman who didn't appreciate chaos, she seemed to find great amusement in bath day. Rosie pulled her hair back, securing it in a messy bun at the nape of her neck. The last thing the Gryffindor needed was a bauble tangling itself in her long hair as it tried to fight back.

She glanced around, shaking her head slightly, watching the others trying to rein the baubles in various ways. Rae had conjured a whole net. Rosie couldn't help but grin at her friend's ingenuity, even if it was the hard way, in her opinion. She looked up, seeing a rather ornery-looking bauble hovering above her, already turning a soft shade of red.

"Don't be like that," Rosalie tutted, raising an eyebrow at the little sphere, holding her palm out flat. "You know you'll feel better without all that dust and Merlin-knows-what-else on you." Spitballs probably. Benji and a few of his buddies liked to attack the baubles with them and see how fast they could escape. The bauble seemed to hesitate, its red shade slowly dissipating into a lighter pink. "Come on," she coaxed it, giving a little wiggle of her fingers.

Slowly, the bauble descended, settling lightly into her palm, seemingly resigned to its fate. "There we go," she smiled, closing her fingers around it and heading to one of the unused basins. She knew she had to work fast. Her luck wouldn't last long once she dunked it under the water. Julia's baubles were notoriously impatient and didn't appreciate being submerged if last term's bath day was any good indicator.

She dunked it quickly, holding it under while it squirmed in her hand as she squirted a bit of soap in her free hand. When she brought it back up, it was turning red again, straining between her fingers and palm to be released. "Calm down, it won't last long," she scolded, but the damn thing shrieked and began alarming. She couldn't imagine why. The thing didn't have lungs, so it wasn't like she was drowning it. She scrubbed quickly, going over every inch of the bauble while it made a scene, screeching and growling like a cat cornered.

Another quick dunk under the water to rinse, and it finally bit, nipping at her middle finger. She grimaced, yanking the thing back above the water, and bringing it eye-level to her. "Knock it off. So much drama. I'm doing you a favor."

The bauble didn't think so. It screeched louder as she patted it dry and got to polishing. It squirmed and bit at her ring finger, this time biting hard enough to make her yelp. She sighed, working quicker now to get it polished as it yanked against her hand to be set free.

Once it looked shiny enough, the girl hurried to Julia's office and plopped the stupid thing on her desk. "Next term, Jules, can we please deactivate them first? I'm going to have a bite mark for the next week." Julia only grinned at her younger cousin, nodding that the bauble looked clean enough.

With a slight huff, the girl turned on her heel and headed back out for her shift.

Benji fucking hated bauble bath day.

Every year it was the same. He got roped into being a Library Assistant against his will, with no recourse, and it always led to this day where he had to willingly interact with the demons his mother conjured as her personal security force. It always ended up in him being gnawed to bits or his eardrums blown out. Last term, he'd gotten attacked by five at once, which seemed really unfair considering he was only trying to bathe one.

He sighed as Julia wandered off into her office, leaving the hard part to the rest of them. Cass seemed to have gotten a fairly docile one, while Rae had wrangled hers like a rodeo bull. He wasn't in the mood for such efforts on his end and had half a mind to just try and petrify one. He knew it wouldn't work really. Baubles weren't actually alive and immune to such spells.

There was one hovering closer to the floor, and the boy didn't hesitate. Without warning, Benji launched himself at the bauble, arms outstretched and hands cupped while his belly hit flat against the floor. He grunted with a hard oof, his hands closing around the bauble that immediately began fighting and straining.

The bauble vibrated violently in his hands. Benji barely had time to clamp his fingers tighter before it shot upward, yanking his arms and entire body with it. He dug his heels into the floor, sliding across the stone floor, marveling at the strength of the stupid thing. Merlin, had Julia made them this way on purpose?!

The bauble surged forward in a sudden burst of speed, dragging Benji by the wrists like it had a kneazle on its tail. His knees scraped, his shoes squealed, and his soul left his body as it hauled him straight through the basin’s lip, dunking half his torso into the water with a violent splash.

Water drenched his shirt, soaked his hair, and stole the air from his lungs. “WHAT THE FU-,” he sputtered, wrestling the thrashing sphere under the surface like he was baptizing it against its will. “You’re getting clean, whether you like it or not. I'm not getting grounded for you!”

The bauble screamed - an unholy, echoing REEEEEE - and torpedoed downward, yanking Benji fully into the basin. The world became bubbles and flailing limbs and the horrible realization that he was losing a fight to something the size of a cauldron cake.

He surfaced long enough to gasp, “I swear to Merlin - ” before the bauble blasted upward beneath his chin, sending him sprawling backward into another splash. Benji slammed his hand over the bauble, shoving it into the water yet again, both of them hissing and screeching like feral alley cats.

He managed to halfway subdue the bloody thing, when it lunged. Sideways.

Teeth - or what felt like teeth - clamped down hard on the skin of his palm. The boy shouted, waving his hand wildly to try and release the bauble, but it clamped down harder. Benji flailed, splashing water everywhere, swearing loudly. He tried flicking the bauble off. He tried prying it away with his other hand.

It refused.

It clamped.

It was committed to the bit.

“Fine,” Benji snarled through clenched teeth, “bite me, see if I care. We’re still doing the bloody bath!” He dunked the bauble - still latched onto his hand - under the water, scrubbing it violently with the little brush Julia had provided. The brush squeaked every time he swiped it over the bauble, which felt deeply insulting given that he was currently losing blood.

The bauble shrieked in bubbling protest, but it was slowly getting cleaner. By the time he wrestled it free, it having left a perfect semicircle of tooth marks across his palm, Benji was drenched, panting, and thoroughly pissed off.

Still, he clutched the now gleaming bauble and stormed towards his mother's office. The orb, exhausted from its own tantrum, sat limply in his hand with the occasional pitiful sputter, lamenting its loss.

Benji tossed the bauble onto his mother's desk with all the fanfare of a man thoroughly fed up. “It’s clean,” he announced, dripping on her floors. Julia raised an eyebrow, glanced at the sparkling bauble, then at the bite marks on her son’s hand. “Thank you, Benji,” she said with an amused sigh.

Benji exhaled the breath of a man who had just survived war and stormed back out the door.