Saturday, March 18, 1922
4:42 PM
He was ready to collapse.
The sentiment was nothing new. Each shift left him feeling like his body itself had been put through several of the factory's machines. Muscles laden with fatigue, his body still overheating, the boy slowly made his way to #92. With spring approaching, the days were getting a little warmer. While he was glad it meant he didn't have to walk to work in freezing temperatures, the shift made it a little harder for his body to come down from the blaze that always settled on him.
Despite the untenable heat, he could admit the work was getting easier. He might have been getting stronger or otherwise desensitised to the conditions that once overwhelmed him. Was he getting stronger? His shirts fit a little closer. The boy wasn't in danger of ripping the seams, but as the end of his third month approached, it was hard to ignore the difference.
Stronger, sturdier, whatever the case, one thing remained the same, and that was the relief that spread through him as he approached the door to be met by the tantalising smells of whatever his wife had prepared for them.
Rosie quitting the diner was the best thing they could've agreed on. Cassian's heart was no longer filled with dread on his walks home. There was no longer a gaping hole in his chest at the thought of the front door swinging open to reveal a cold flat that echoed in its silence. Since she'd quit, Cass was greeted by warmth every afternoon. The flat that they shared started to feel like a home, a real one, where there was someone waiting when he got there.
They could study together, read together, and spend their evenings listening to the radio together. They weren't passing ships in the night anymore, clinging to the end of the week for one fleeting day. The entire week was theirs, and they'd done what they could to make good use of it. Just two afternoons back, they'd travelled to the neighbouring city to catch a show, then they'd walked a portion of the way back just to have a moment, hands held under the stars.
Slowly, romance was creeping back into their lives. It wasn't the loud and flashy kind but the kind filled with wonder and hope, abstract but warm.
Cass nudged the door open, his heart swelling with anticipation. It had only been two weeks, and in some ways, it still didn't feel real.
"Special delivery," he called. One hand remained tucked behind his back while he nudged the door closed with his foot.
There she was, not at a diner until after he'd fallen asleep, but in the kitchen filling their flat with aromas that made his stomach growl. Wordlessly, he drifted over to her, planting a kiss at the base of her neck before extending the single rose he'd picked up for her on the way home. He spun her around, taking a proper kiss. "I'd have gotten more, but it was the only one the vendor had left."
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
She hadn't manned her stall at the market today.
Since quitting the diner two weeks back, Rosalie McCormick had thrown herself head-first into her 'holistic medicine' business, expanding on the potions she offered - only those that didn't have obvious magical effects - and playing a bit with some of her baked goods. Things had taken off in a much bigger way. Now that she was able to stay until the market closed, she was able to draw in some of those patrons who got off work at the same time. Her goods were reaching more of the townsfolk and word was spreading about the English girl who concocted better medicines than the local doctors.
It still didn't gap the money she had been making at the diner, but it was something, and it gave the young woman hope that it would get bigger.
Yet, she'd had to take the day off. Without telling her husband, Rosie had made a doctor's appointment. She was feeling fine, really, but something was noticeably different.
And... noticeably absent.
Back home, her heart was fluttering, not in the heavy pounding that accompanied the more serious moments, but in a light, gentle way. The same way it had that night when Cassian had gotten down on one knee and asked her to run away with him. It was a fluttering of anticipation and excitement. One that knew change, and with it, hope, was on the way.
"Special delivery."
Dinner was almost ready. Roast chicken tonight, easy enough and not a lot of effort behind it, but nice enough for the news she had to share. She hoped...this time he might take the news a little better than he had that day in the boat. Things were different now, of course. They were adults, living adult lives, in their own home.
They didn't have to worry about parents or professors or what people might think or do. There was no threat looming over her that she'd be kept away from Cassian forever.
This...could be a good thing.
She smiled to herself as she stirred the butter into the mashed potatoes, closing her eyes when he kissed her neck. "Hey lover," she said sweetly, her hand brushing lightly against his face.
Needless to say, quitting the diner had been the right move. She found herself happier, knowing that every night, rather than serving strange man and subjecting herself to their lewd words and gropes, she got to spend it with her sweet husband. They were reconnecting, finding each other again. The warmth had returned to their home, happiness radiating off the walls when they were together.
Things weren't perfect of course. He was tired, and she was worried about money, but they were happy.
It made up for everything else.
He spun her around, finding her lips on his before she could properly greet him. She smiled against his kiss, wrapping an arm lazily around his neck.
"I'd have gotten more, but it was the only one the vendor had left."
He was the sweetest. "It's perfect. Thank you," she said, taking another kiss for herself and brushing her nose against his. After popping the rose into the arrangement she had on the table, she hurried back to the stove, pulling the chicken from the oven.
"Did you have a good day?" He hated his job, she knew that, but he seemed to be acclimating now. His physique certainly was and she had zero complaints. She nodded for him to sit at the table while she fixed his plate and brought it to him.
Sitting down opposite Cassian, she smiled, a little twinkle in her eye.
She'd fix her own plate in a minute.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"Hey lover."
Another kiss and another. The novelty might wear off someday. It was likely that Cassian's nervous system would acclimate to having more access to Rosie – the way it was used to – but until then, he was a kid in a candy store, brimming with unfettered euphoria every time he walked through the door and there she was. The kitchen, the couch – it didn't matter so long as she was there. In two weeks, they'd rekindled a passion he'd worried was lost, and if he could help it, they'd never descend into such dark depths again.
Cass placed the rose in her hand, stealing another kiss in the process. "You're a lot sweeter today," he muttered, nibbling gently at her lower lip.
She pulled away, directing him to the table, and his gaze followed obediently.
"Did you have a good day?"
"I had...an interesting one."
Rosie sat, but he remained standing. With his body coming down from the day's grind, he could no longer ignore the buildup that sat heavily on him. Cassian caught the spark in her eyes, realising she was waiting for him to sit so she could share some news. The market, maybe? A new customer? A big investor who just happened to stumble into their lowly town and wanted to make her a millionaire? The boy certainly wouldn't complain about that.
He moved behind her, squeezing gently at her shoulders before heading off in the direction of the bathroom.
"Just 10 minutes, gorgeous." He worked his way out of his shirt as he went, banishing it to the hamper in their bedroom. "Jacque and Pierre got into it on the floor. Turned into a whole lower-level brawl, and now I smell like more men than I've ever cared to in my entire life." Cassian shuddered at the memory, pressed on all sides by sweaty, shirtless men screaming obscenities while fists went flying. It was only after the foreman showed up that order returned and by then, Cass had already sustained a few non-work-related injuries.
He would need to scrub himself for a week straight. It wasn't the sort of state he wanted to be in when she told him whatever she did. Cass knew he'd have a hard time focusing on her excitement with all the grime that lingered loudly on his skin. He felt clammy and saturated in a foul mixture of salt, sand, and dirt.
"Whatever it is, keep that smile, and I'll be back to figure out what it's for."
He disappeared into the bathroom, returning in the 10 minutes he'd promised. Cassian sank into the chair, feeling refreshed and in a better position to share her joy without the factory crew intrusively leaning in, tethered by their scents and mingled sweat.
"Something happen at the market today?"
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
"You're a lot sweeter today."
She hummed as he teeth sank down gently on her lip, her index finger tracing the freckles on his cheek. Wasn't she sweet every day? Rosie supposed there was a little extra honey behind her eyes this evening, but there was good reason for it.
"Just 10 minutes, gorgeous. Jacque and Pierre got into it on the floor. Turned into a whole lower-level brawl, and now I smell like more men than I've ever cared to in my entire life."
She nodded, taking his plate back and popping it into the warmer oven. In all her excitement, she'd forgotten her husband liked to wash the day off of him before he sat for dinner. She normally noticed the build-up of sweat and dirt all over him when he walked through the door. More often than not there were fresh cuts on his hands and arms from the shards of glass he hauled. He'd shower, she'd help patch him up, and they'd enjoy their evening.
It was a routine she'd come to look forward to, a spot of the domesticity she had dreamed of when the two would sit in the RoR and talk about the day when they'd promise themselves to one another. She'd wanted to be the wife that made him miss her when he was gone, and happy when he came home. She loved the evenings where they sat on the couch talking about their days, or swayed in each other's arms to the sounds of the radio.
"Whatever it is, keep that smile, and I'll be back to figure out what it's for."
She sighed lightly, drumming her fingers on the countertop as she waited. Didn't he know she'd already waited all day, and it had taken all of her self-control not to run to the factory and demand someone fetch him so she could tell him then and there? That...would have been a little much, but he was home now and she wanted to tell him now.
Patience, Rosalie. Ten minutes wouldn't change anything. When she heard the bathroom door open, she fetched his plate again, setting it back down on the table, and fixed her own while he dressed. She wasn't a big eater, but now that she was in the delicate position she was, she needed to force herself to be more cognizant about her nutrition.
"Something happen at the market today?"
"No," she said with a little shake of her head as she sat back down with her own plate and nudged the kettle of hot tea towards him. "I actually went to the doctor today instead of the market." She pushed her chicken around her plate a bit with her fork, as her blue eyes tentatively found his.
"I've been feeling a little off, you know?" He didn't. She hadn't told him anything. "Not in a bad way, just...different." She gave a little shrug as a a tight smile played shyly across her lips. "And they found a little something." The fluttering in her heart gave way to a faster tempo, remembering the way he'd reacted that day on the lake. If he had the same sort, she didn't know what she would feel...or say.
"Well, I know we didn't plan for this, and maybe it's not the right time..."
She was building up her courage, the same way as she had before.
"We're having a baby," and just to make sure there wasn't any confusion, "The doctor confirmed it."
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
The doctor?
Cassian lowered his fork before managing the first bite, all his curiosity turning to worry in a fraction of a second. Was she sick? Had she been sick without him noticing? There had been nothing that might've tipped him off, nothing to have him raising his brows or wanting to skip work to make sure she was attended to. But the doctor? Rosie wouldn't skip the market for that unless...unless
Oh god, don't be dying.
They were finally good. He'd finally gotten his wife back; they were discovering each other again, learning to laugh, and letting their love radiate in their home.
"I've been feeling a little off, you know?"
OFF??
"Not in a bad way, just...different."
DiFfErEnT??
He didn't think he could handle the suspense. Rosie was building up to her news like the lead in a century-defining thriller, and the palpitations inside his chest were his protest. Cass didn't think he could sit with the ambiguity and sentences that didn't truly mean anything for much longer without losing his nerve and storming out to go find the doctor. That sort were known for their precise language and concise delivery. It wasn't that he didn't want to share Rosie's excitement – and had he stopped long enough, he'd realise excitement meant she couldn't be dying.
"And they found a little something. Well, I know we didn't plan for this, and maybe it's not the right time...We're having a baby. The doctor confirmed it."
"Oh shit..."
He dropped the fork completely. It didn't occur to him that he'd handled the news poorly the last time and needed to actively work at composure this round. His brain short-circuited in a fraction of a second. All the bulbs blew at once, all fuses buzzing into silence. The world went quiet. The bustle of the late afternoon with the neighbouring flats and passersby on the road, the tick of the small clock they kept in the kitchen, and the radio with its low hum all disappeared as if someone external had found the volume and slowly turned it down.
A baby. A baby.
Hooooly shit.
This was it, wasn't it? They'd been playing adults since they left, of age but still just children trying to make the most of a dangerous situation. They'd gotten jobs, lost themselves to those jobs, made new connections, and earned their own money – they were married. A baby...that...that was the natural next step, wasn't it? The proof they were no longer children but were building their own life?
"Fuck..." he whispered, trying to remember to breathe. It wasn't...bad news, truly, but it WAS news, and his brain was scrambling to process the fact that this wasn't another scare they could run to Julia about. A doctor had confirmed it. This was real. They'd made a new life – a real one they'd now be responsible for on top of everything else.
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
The fork hit the plate with a clang that made Rosie flinch, not out of fear, but for how jarring the sound was against the silence that had followed her reveal. She watched him intently, studying his face and could feel the stress take hold.
Almost instantly, the excitement in Rosie’s face vanished, falling slowly as she realized it was the same as last time. Last time had luckily just been a scare, but his reaction to the possibility had been the same. All the color from his face had drained, and he’d cursed, while looking at her stomach like it held the black plague itself.
"Fuck..."
Her shoulders dropped, as did her eyes back down to her plate. She wanted to be patient and understanding. Cassian hadn’t been adjusting as quickly as she had to adult life. For Rosie, while it hadn’t been easy, life had always expected a lot out of her. She’d been raised to accept the cards she was dealt with a smile on her face, and to understand how to adapt to difficult situations.
Despite her softer, gentler demeanor, Rosalie was a Laurence.
Cassian had been allowed - expected even - to be a kid. He hadn’t had enormous expectations placed on his shoulders from a young age. He’d gone through hard things - devastating things - but he’d always had friends, hobbies and certain freedoms.
Rosalie hadn’t, until Hogwarts. Maybe that’s why having to step up and face the harder challenges of life hadn’t felt quite as daunting to her.
Even so, as she told herself to be patient with him, she could feel her heart sinking into her stomach. The joy she had been feeling moments ago was gone.
She pushed around her chicken again.
She hesitated, her lips parting and then shutting again a few times before landing on the only words she could think of. “You’re not happy?” she asked softly, keeping her eyes on her plate.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
In the middle of his spiral, one thing became clear: he wasn't being what Rosie needed.
Cass should've known with how excited she was for him to be home and how eagerly she'd waited for him at the table that this wasn't the kind of news she'd thought to spiral over. He was spiralling. Hard. Money was tight, the factory was gruelling, things at home were only just getting back to normal, and now there was a tiny human entering the mix. Their tiny human, a kid whose future and values they would collectively mould.
Their sense of security, belonging, and agency – that was all on them now, or would be once the baby showed up.
Cassian didn't feel like a man, and that feeling was amplified in the moment. For all his pretending, for all the brave faces he'd put on, most days he went home feeling like a lost boy fumbling through the world with breeches too big for who he really was.
He wouldn't be able to be scared anymore. Whether he wanted to be or not, they'd be the adults, the well of wisdom from which the baby drank.
Oh Merlin.
But he couldn't dwell there, not while he watched Rosie's face fall.
“You’re not happy?”
"I—no, no, that's not—"
Cassian pushed away from the table, abandoning his chair to kneel by hers. He reached for her hands, turning her enough for her to look at him. "Listen to me. This...it's not about not being happy, I promise. You're my wife, of course I want to have a family with you. I want our house full of tiny blonde kids with curly hair and eyes too blue to be legal, I do. Just...just give me a minute, okay? I want this and us; I just...it's...it's a lot. It's big--the biggest thing we've ever done."
Bigger than running or even getting married. Making Rosie his wife hadn't been difficult. Living with his best friend? All the sex they could find time for? Those weren't the things that cost him sleep at night.
Shaping a life was monumental, and he didn't feel like he was in a place to do it right.
He kissed her softly, trying to reassure her. "It's good news, honest." He just couldn't breathe.
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
Blue eyes found earthy brown as he took hold of her hands, and she forced herself to hear him, not to lose herself in where she already thought this was going. After their fight, Rosie had promised herself she’d do better about listening to the words he said, and absorbing them, rather than sitting steadfast in her own conclusions.
He didn’t seem happy, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t. She guessed.
"Listen to me. This...it's not about not being happy, I promise. You're my wife, of course I want to have a family with you. I want our house full of tiny blonde kids with curly hair and eyes too blue to be legal, I do. Just...just give me a minute, okay? I want this and us; I just...it's...it's a lot. It's big--the biggest thing we've ever done."
She nodded silently, unable to ignore the pit in her stomach, but choosing to give him what he asked for. A minute. He just wanted some time to maybe wrap his head around it. For her, it had been easy. The moment the doctor said she was pregnant, Rosalie had felt the joy take hold. She’d cried, a mix of anxiety and excitement taking hold at the same time.
He needed a minute and she’d give it to him. Ready or not, this was happening.
"It's good news, honest."
She nodded again, briefly returning his kiss. “Okay,” she said, the answer coming barely above a whisper. She wanted to believe him, that he was happy about the idea that they’d have a tiny person coming into their lives. A son or a daughter that was theirs to raise and love and send out into the world to make it a better place. She…knew they weren’t in the best spot right now, but life didn’t wait for the stars to align. Sometimes, it just happened.
“Eat,” she said, forcing a small smile on her lips and nodded towards his plate. “Before it gets cold.”
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
He wanted to be over the moon about the baby; he really did. Growing up, whenever Cassian thought about his own children, he always imagined a wide grin across his face while his wife shared the news and him rambling on about baby names. They were always ridiculous, always a little theatrical, with his wife rolling her eyes and shooting down every one of them. It was always a happy moment, always the kind that made his heart flutter. Of course, in those fantasies he was also always older...more established in a career, not 17, hating his job and barely able to make ends meet.
He wasn't the kind of 'man' any kid could look up to, certainly not one that could instil confidence. Now he'd have to be. There was no 'not being ready' anymore, only doing. A lot of doing.
He sucked in a deep breath when Rosie agreed to give him the minute. Cass wanted to be right there with her. He should've been screaming, picking her up, waltzing around the flat like Christmas had come early, but his nervous system was disintegrating in real time. It was all he could do to keep it together.
"Thanks," he muttered, leaning in to kiss her again. Cassian meant it when he said it was good news and that he wasn't unhappy, but there was so much now swirling around in his head, so much he would have to do.
“Eat. Before it gets cold.”
"You eat," he countered softly as he rose to his feet. It was a conversation that had followed them from their Hogwarts days. Cassian noticed, as he always did, whether Rosie thought she did or not. Back at school, they had nearly all their meals together. A lot of the time, he was engulfed in some conversation or the other, laughing over food and friendship, but it never escaped his notice the way his girlfriend – wife now – always seemed to pick around her food. Rosalie Gretchen was never more enthused than when she tried to pull him away from a table to avoid having to finish her meal.
Cass nudged her plate closer to her before sinking back into his chair.
"Eating for two now, at least that's what they always say." He picked up his fork but continued to watch her. With time a sheepish grin spread across his face. "Is it too early to start hoping for a boy?"
He tried to break the terror down, chewing it piece by piece. Finding out she was pregnant didn't mean he'd be a father tomorrow. There was...time. Maybe eight more months. It help that they wouldn't suddenly be thrust into it, so rather than spiral about all the things he couldn't do, Cassian set his mind to focusing on the things still in his control. He'd do what he could to prepare and then hope when the time came he didn't feel nearly as in over his head.
At the end of the day, they still had each other. They'd faced other things and had made it through. There was no reason this would be different.
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
Her plate was nudged closer to her, and though she’d lost any small appetite she had, Rosie knew she had to force it. She couldn’t keep the same habits of little portions and small bites here or there to keep her going. Her body was working overtime now to grow her baby and keep it safe, and she needed to fuel it properly.
As Cassian retreated back to his chair she took a small bite of the potatoes, letting the quiet that he asked for fall between them. She knew that his initial reaction didn’t dictate how the rest of her pregnancy went, or how he felt about their baby. Cassian was a muller. He was the type to think about things and then again, until he’d figured out every angle that made sense to him.
He did it with his plays, with his schoolwork, when it came to his family issues. Cassian was a ‘fixer’ of sorts, and she knew he was likely already thinking about all the things he’d have to do and be for them. Pressures he put on himself, while Rosalie already knew he’d be an amazing father and provider for their child.
The potatoes were good, at least.
Rosie knew things wouldn’t be easy or a fairytale. None of this had been. It had been struggle after struggle, learning curve after learning curve. But they’d made it through them all, figured them all out. A baby was a joyous thing. Another little light in their lives. The beginnings of their family and another happy face for Cassian to come home to every night.
She could already see their baby toddling for the door when he came in, happy squeals of ‘daddy’ or ‘papa’ lighting up the room. Instead of the terrifying things, the stressful things - because those weren’t going anywhere - Rosie chose to focus on the things that already made her tear up with anticipation and excitement. She couldn’t wait to hold their newborn in her arms, hear them cry and know that it was their love that had created them.
"Is it too early to start hoping for a boy?"
She glanced up, seeing that sheepish grin on his lips. Relief, even the slightest bit began to wash over her, and she met it with her own. “A boy with that grin?” she asked and gave a slight shake of her head as she tore off a little piece of the chicken.
“I’m already a goner.”
Wednesday, April 12, 1922
4:15 PM
Rosalie toweled the last of the dishes from dinner prep, setting them to the side of the sink where they could air-dry. She could enchant everything of course, have all the chores do themselves, and sometimes she did. But she found enjoyment in the mundane and taking care of her home. In the last two months of not working at the diner, Rosie had settled beautifully into her evenings as a housewife, cooking, cleaning up for the day and spending a few hours with Cassian before he had to slip into bed.
There were times she spent them in the garden, brewing and caring for her plants, but usually that was left to the early mornings so that her products would be as fresh for the market as they could be.
She turned off the sink, wiping her hands on her apron before untying it and hanging it up on the hook by the back door. Cassian would be home soon, and dinner was nearly finished. She’d gotten a late start on it today as the market had run over, a few customers lingering wanting to ask questions about her potions and how she made them. It’d resulted in an extra twenty francs worth of sales, so she could hardly complain.
She paused a moment as dizziness briefly took her, one of the first real symptoms she’d been experiencing since finding out she was expecting. She breathed, closing her eyes, and letting the moment pass. She’d decided that this baby was going to be a wild one, everywhere at once and sending her head spinning, considering he or she was already doing it. She cradled her stomach - no sign of a belly yet - and gave it a little pat, willing herself to get it together.
When the dizziness passed, she turned to give the bubbling stew a stir, but a knock sounded on the front door.
Her eyebrows knit together. No one usually visited or came by, especially not at dinner time. Had Cass forgotten his house key? A quick discreet wave of his wand would have fixed that.
As she opened the door, blue eyes fell on deep gray, unfamiliar. Before she could say anything the girl that stood there stepped forward her eyes looking Rosie up and down briefly as she spoke.
“Rosie, yes? Je suis Maddy.”
Rosalie’s face immediately darkened, her eyes narrowing slightly. Why was this girl at her door? Cassian had broken off the friendship. Rosalie was well-aware of what this girl was. A homewrecker that had tried to kiss her husband and steal him away.
“What do you want?” Her question was icy and sharp, uncharacteristic of the girl who usually led with warmth and kindness.
“Cassian,” Maddy said, without a stitch of apology in her tone. Rosie raised her eyebrow, feeling her blood beginning to boil. The audacity of it all.
Maddy placed her hand on her own stomach. “He should know I’m having his baby, yes?”
For a moment, the dizziness took Rosalie again, and she swayed as she caught herself on the door. Maddy smirked, watching his ‘wife’ falter at the news, but was surprised when Rosie straightened herself.
“Come in then. I’m sure he’ll want to hear all about it when he gets home.” She swung the door open wider to invite Madeleine in.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
4:37 PM
"À demain!"
Cassian waved the men off as they continued down the street to their own homes. They were a group he occasionally walked with when they didn't already have plans to head in the opposite direction toward the town. They made the walk feel shorter, and now that he was understanding more words and phrases, Cass was starting to be included in their conversations. They still laughed brashly when they saw the light leave his eyes and realised he'd stopped understanding, but it didn't sting nearly so much as it used to.
For better or worse, Cassian was starting to settle into his work culture. In some ways, it terrified him. The boy who was meant for the stage could see himself getting steeped further and further in the life of a factory worker, locked away in dim light and heat, drenched in sweat with the perpetual scent of burning sand and liquid glass. He worried he'd never see the stage again and that, in avoiding Rosie's family, slow lives in small muggle towns doing hard labour were all that lay ahead of him.
There was a baby coming, which required stability and not naively chasing dreams. Did the baby get to have dreams? If the Laurences never left them alone and weren't opposed to murder, would the baby have to spend their whole life concealed and trying to be small, too?
It was too much to consider on a tired brain.
As Cassian approached the door, he chose to focus on the shower he was about to have and the warm meal he knew Rosie already had set at the table. He could do with a quiet evening in, the best company in the world and only a little revision. They'd have to present themselves to the local ministry to get their NEWTs complete in a month, and Cassian couldn't wait. It would be one less worry and would free up their evenings even more.
"Hey, gorgeous," he said, stepping through the threshold. "You'll never believe the..."
...
.....
Maddy?
Cassian swung the door shut slowly. "Oh...hey, Maddy." Dark eyes found his wife immediately, pooling with several questions at once. The biggest one was what his French coworker was doing in their small living room.
"Didn't know we were having guests..."
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
“Neither did I.”
The annoyance in Rosalie’s voice was unmistakeable. With her arms crossed over her chest, she stood against the counter, the stove having been turned off, while Maddy rose from the table. Rosie’s eyes followed the girl, but she didn’t move, watching as Maddy took a few steps towards Cassian.
In the few minutes before Cassian arrived home, Rosie had stood quietly while Maddy made herself at home. She didn’t say a word, allowing the silence to stretch into discomfort while the home wrecker had the nerve to drum her fingers on Rosie’s dining room table.
It was lucky for Maddy that Rosalie had been raised to remain poised and calm in the midst of uncomfortable situations. That she’d been taught to hide her feelings, and if she couldn’t manage a smile, she was to remain stoic and neutral.
Rosie maintained it all while they waited, but inside, she was raging, her anger boiling over quickly.
She had no doubt that Cassian had never cheated on her. She knew he hadn’t slept with Maddy and never would have. Her husband loved her, was in love with her, was loyal to her. They’d worked through the insecurities Rosalie had harbored those horrible weeks, and she was more assured than ever that Cassian was faithful.
But she wanted him to know how far this girl was obviously willing to go. She was deranged, insane, wanting to drive an irreparable wedge between them. Rosie wasn’t going to sit back and let this girl think that she could try and destroy their little family without consequence.
And she wanted Cassian to see it, so he understood who his wife was when it came to them.
“Cassian, I had to come here since you won’t talk to me. And your wife should know anyway.”
Maddy smiled widely while Rosie watched them quietly, making no move to interject.
“We can work it out, yes? We have to, for our baby.”
Rosie’s eyes shifted to Cassian’s, her expression remaining calm and static.
“You said you loved me.”
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
“Neither did I.”
So...not the pair finding common ground and building a relationship while he was off at work then. Right. Cassian didn't need them being friends. In fact, after the way things had ended with Maddy, the boy was fine keeping them separate. One was the wife he adored and would follow to the ends of the earth; the other was a girl who'd grown presumptuous in the course of their hangouts and who had made her intentions very clear in the end. They couldn't remain friends after that.
Understanding that didn't make it any clearer what she was doing sitting at his dining table. Maddy hadn't said anything to him back at the factory. She'd given no indication she planned to stop by—he'd have politely asked her not to if she had.
He liked to have peace when he got home.
“Cassian, I had to come here since you won’t talk to me. And your wife should know anyway.”
Something his wife should know? The first flecks of confusion began to appear in his eyes as he moved over to the couch to sit on its arm. Had something happened? "I tell my wife everything." A point she should consider carefully. It meant Rosie already knew about the shower and the late shows, the lunches and the fact that she'd tried to kiss him when he put an end to their friendship. "We were never a secret." Ever. He may not have shared every detail in the beginning, but it hadn't been because he was hiding anything. They'd simply not been that important.
Rather, they were important, and he'd eventually learned that. After that, Cass told Rosie even things that would put him to sleep, wanting to make sure there was nothing left to be misconstrued.
“We can work it out, yes? We have to, for our baby.”
Come again? Their what now?
“You said you loved me.”
WHEN?
Cassian stuck a hand out when Maddy drew close, wanting to keep her at whatever distance he could. "Have you lost your mind? No, really, did you finally gone insane?" When his eyes caught Rosie's, he felt a sudden spike in panic. He knew how this looked and how his wife had felt about what was going on with Maddy. He'd done everything he could to assure her, but it had all come across as being defensive and lacking understanding. He wasn't trying to go there again. Once was enough.
"I don't know what you're on about, but I suggest you take it somewhere else."
Ideally far away from him and his wife.
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
"I tell my wife everything. We were never a secret."
Maddy didn’t seem deterred. Even as Cassian held his hand out to stop her, she took another step closer to him. She tilted her head slightly, her smile falling only a bit. She didn’t care that his wife was in the room, rather it was exactly what she wanted. Let the little woman think that she’d lost him. It made it only easier to swoop in and take him when Rosie gave up. Maybe Cassian would be upset at first, but he’d get over it quickly.
Especially when she actually fell pregnant.
"Have you lost your mind? No, really, did you finally gone insane? I don't know what you're on about, but I suggest you take it somewhere else."
“I know you don’t want to upset her,” Maddy said, “But now that she knows…” she reached out to try and take his hand.
Quick as a flash, Rosie pushed off the counter and rushed to step in-between them. Her eyes flashed in a way they never had before and she straightened, wanting to protect her husband from the crazy that seemed to know no bounds. In a moment, everything that Rosie had held fast to disappeared, leaving in its place a woman wrecked by hormones and the callousness of someone who wanted to destroy her world.
For what? Rosalie had never done a thing to Maddy, except be with Cassian when the girl obviously wanted him.
She couldn’t imagine how Maddy thought this would play out.
“You heard what he said.” Her voice came sharp and cold devoid of any softness. “I don’t know who you think you are,” Maddy smirked at Rosie’s question, her eyebrow raising at the little girl who was playing house. Rosie continued. “But I know exactly who I am.”
Rosie took a step closer to Maddy, squaring up in a way she never had to anyone before. In the moment, she channeled Julia, her mother, her granny, Edith. All the women she’d watched over the years, claiming their place amongst society and amongst the men that ruled them. “I’m his wife.” She held up her hand, the ring sparkling in the light that filtered through the window. “He put that on my finger the day he promised the rest of his life to me.”
“And yet,” Maddy’s heavily accented voice hissed, as she brought her hand to her stomach again, “Here we are. Did he tell you about the night he came to my house? The shower?” She grinned, glancing past Rosie to Cassian.
Rosie took another step, forcing Maddy to take one back as her smirk faltered. Rosie’s voice lowered further, soft as it always was, but darker and more confident. “You’re not a threat,” she continued, “You’re an embarrassment. If you wanted to chase a married man, you should have picked one that isn’t so obviously in love with his wife.”
For a moment, Rosalie could feel the weight of it all on her shoulders. Protecting her husband, protecting her family - in the same way her former family had protected theirs. Maddy looked her up and down, slowly, as though taking measure of her.
And then, without warning Maddy shoved Rosalie, as hard as she could, sending her stumbling backwards into Cassian.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
And just like that, he was done putting up with the nonsense that was Madeleine Bernard.
Cassian wasn't inherently violent and had never been one to think that physicality was the answer to any problem when words still existed and reasoning could still be employed. Why throw a punch when commonality could be found and an understanding could be reached?
He didn't feel threatened, not particularly. Madeleine, like Rosie, was small in frame compared to him, even if she was taller than his wife and a little wider in places. He didn't worry about her suddenly losing control on him and overwhelming him, nor did he bother to think about what might happen if she got handsy...with him.
That was the important distinction.
Maddy could do whatever she wanted to him. If she felt slighted, that was his fault, not Rosie's. He hadn't been trying to lead her on, and with how often and how fondly he talked about his wife, he didn't think he had in the first place. But there was a disconnect, and he was prepared to own it. In the same vein, he'd been willing to let Rosie handle it if she really wanted to. His wife had gotten across the room in record time, asserting herself. Something told him that it was one of those things she needed to do, like the lunches. If that was the case, he could allow himself the pride he felt at her taking on the icy persona and putting Maddy in her place in a way he probably never could.
Until the shove.
The proverbial end of any goodwill.
In a flash, Cassian was on his feet. He barely finished steadying Rosie on her feet before rushing past her to grab Maddy firmly by the arm.
"We're done here," he said, his tone brokering no room for debate or discussion. Cass yanked her firmly on the way to the front door, seething where before he'd only be exasperated and wishing for an escape route. Maddy had tried to bring ruin to their home, and he wouldn't give her a second chance.
"She is my wife," he said, yanking no matter how much she resisted. Even before his factory days, Cassian had never been 'weak'. He wasn't conventionally strong but didn't need to be for the lightweight of a French girl whose weight registered even less under his budding muscles. "And you will respect her. What you won't do is put your hands on her." Cass tugged the door open harshly before shoving Maddy toward it. "Don't come back to our house unless you really need me making a point, and tell Gaspard that I won't be showing up for any more shifts."
The factory would only provide an opening, and he was done letting the world in.
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
It all happened faster than she could comprehend. One minute she’d flown backwards into Cassian. The next, the door slammed behind Maddy with a resounding THUD. She blinked as she steadied herself on the arm of the couch, disbelieving what had just happened.
Madeleine had shoved her, in a fit of rage or humiliation, Rosie wasn’t sure. But it had been unexpected, the audacity and gall of it all in her own home something she was reeling from. How anyone would have the nerve to just show up on a woman’s doorstep and tout lies about her husband in an effort to drive a wedge between them - it wasn’t something she understood.
There were many things Rosalie had tolerated and chosen to look the other way with over the years. Having someone spout overt lies about Cassian, trying to make him seem like someone cruel, someone dishonest, someone he absolutely wasn’t, was a line wouldn’t allow to be crossed.
Rosie wasn’t a confrontational person. She wasn’t someone that liked drama or animosity. She had never been one of the mean girls at school, relishing in the antagonism that some of the others did. She was soft-spoken, gentle, preferring to always find a way to try and work things out cordially.
Maddy didn’t deserve her kindness. She deserved a lot worse than Rosie had doled out, but the girl wasn’t going to lower herself to name-calling or petty jabs for the likes of a home wrecker.
She exhaled sharply at the sound of the locked door, Maddy’s shouts and curses in French still sounding through the door even as the girl wandered off down the street. Rosie shook her head, her shoulders dropping in defeat. “What are we going to do?” she asked, the first crack in her voice finally sounding. He’d just…quit his job. Her market earnings weren’t nearly enough. For anything.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
Maddy screamed and swore, rapid firing in her language from behind the door that was now firmly shut. Let her rage; let her do whatever pleased her, but let her do it out on the street instead of inside his home.
“What are we going to do?”
He...
Oh.
Rosie's question sobered him from his anger, firmly bringing him back to reality and the fact that he'd just...cut off...a large part of their income. Shit. Cassian didn't regret handling Maddy right out the door or making it clear where his priorities lay, but no doubt the Frenchie would spin a deep tale that would make it impossible for him to get his job back even if he did show up in the morning trying to explain in broken French.
Shit shit shit.
They had a baby on the way, and he'd let his emotion get the better of him. Cassian moved back to her, his eyes sweeping over her to make sure she wasn't hurt while his brain scrambled for the solution they would need. Another job, that went without saying, but where? It was an industrial little town. The factory was the heart of a lot of the employment, providing income for a large sum of the families that resided in the area.
When he was sure that the shove hadn't done more than rattle his wife, he pulled her into a hug that he probably needed more.
"I'll find something." He didn't have a choice. They hadn't even started shopping for baby supplies and weren't exactly stacking savings. If nothing came soon enough, they'd have to start dipping back into what they'd taken from her father. It bothered him to know their emergency funds would go lower over something that, with a clearer head, could've been prevented, but it was too late for all that.
"Let me worry about that. Are you alright? Baby alright?"
In many ways, Maddy was his fault and he'd never forgive himself if something happened because of her.
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
He’d find something. She…she’d find something too. It was fine. She could give up the market and ask the diner about coming back for a day shift. It wasn’t as much money as the night shift, but it was enough to keep them from dipping into their savings. She’d go tomorrow and talk to Henri.
If she were being honest, there was some relief in knowing he wouldn’t be returning to that place. As much as she loved his growing physique and how much stronger he was getting week by week, Rosie had held reservations about him being in a place where that girl had so much access to him. Aside from the dangers of the job, Maddy had just proven herself a dangerous person, willing to show up at their house and unapologetically assault and demean her.
She was certifiable. Rosalie didn’t want her husband in a dangerous environment with a jilted unhinged girl.
"Let me worry about that. Are you alright? Baby alright?"
She nodded, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips as her eyes softened. “I’m fine,” she said, pulling away slightly from his hug. She took his hand, placing it over her stomach as she kissed him. “Baby’s a strong little one. It’d take a lot more than a shove.” She kissed him again.
He’d protected her, just like he said he would. No one would ever put their hands on her again, he’d promised. She brushed a curl out of his eyes, proud of them for standing firm together. They were a team again, them against the world.
They’d figure this out, just like they had everything else.
“You know I didn’t believe a word out of her mouth?” she asked, wanting to make sure he understood she didn’t have any doubts about him. “She’s…crazy. I didn’t realize how insane she actually was.” Her smile fell a little.
“You sure she won’t be back?”
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
She and the baby were fine. Some part of him already knew that, truly. He'd never been the sort to give into irrationality on such mundane matters, but in the moment, with emotions already running high, Cassian had needed the reassurance. It hadn't been long enough for him to actually feel much when he touched her stomach, but he accepted the reassurance and the kisses all the same. Feeling the firmness of her stomach grounded him, allowing him to focus on the pair of them in their flat and not the crazy office clerk on the other side of their door.
He'd hit the ground running in the morning. Any work would have to be good enough. They might have to consider another town if the scene was as dire as he was already thinking, but...one problem at a time. If they moved, it would be a decision for them both to make with eyes wide open. Although...with Maddy showing up like she had, Cassian was already opening up to the idea.
It wasn't as if the town had been spectacular, and there wasn't anything but obscurity tethering them there. They wouldn't suffer any real loss, and with everything they'd already endured...
He'd give it some more thought.
“You know I didn’t believe a word out of her mouth?”
"Thanks," he said, breathing deeply. That was, perhaps, the biggest worry he'd harboured from the moment Maddy opened her mouth. Crazy as she was, he didn't need her creating dissent between him and his wife when things were finally taking a turn for the better. Cass couldn't understand what would possess a person to drive a massive wedge between someone else and the person they loved, but he was immensely relieved it hadn't worked. "I meant it when I said I'd forsake all others. That's the one thing I promise you'll never have to worry about."
He was only human and would fuck up...a lot. But infidelity wasn't an accident; it was a choice, and it was one he wasn't interested in making.
“You sure she won’t be back?”
"Nah," he said, pulling away fully to begin removing his sweat-soaked shirt. "She's a lot of things – crazy probably at the top of the list – but she's not much of an outright fighter." Now that she knew there would be pushback, Cass couldn't see her showing up a second time.
Monday, April 18, 1922
12:54 PM
CRASH!!
The sound of shattering glass broke through the serene Monday afternoon. Shards littered the floor along the wall that faced away from the street. Flecks of golden sunlight shimmered off the jagged pieces, little crystals belying the severity of what they symbolised.
A heavy silence followed, thick and imposing. Sounds were not so uncommon with so many flats packed together, back to back, but it had been sharp and intrusive.
The culprit lay still on the kitchen floor, a rust-coloured brick half covered in mud as if it had been plucked from the earth after a lengthy rest to be taken on this little excursion. In the industrial town where everyone worked to make ends meet, the surrounding flats remained in their silence. There wasn't a soul to witness as the arm appeared from behind the frame, carefully reaching past the broken glass to unlatch the window.
It flew open in an instant.
The hand became more. A chest, a torso, a head that ducked inside swiftly.
A tall man with mousy hair and pale eyes set both feet down in the small home, followed by another two of equally imposing stature. Glass crunched beneath their thick boots as they moved across the space within the undisturbed flat. No one home, as she'd said.
They took up position behind the door, waiting.
Everything that kills me
✦ Makes Me Feel Alive ✦
She'd been back at work for five days already. No sooner had Cassian quit his job than Rosalie had taken herself back down to the diner, asking Henri for her place back, albeit at a more reasonable hour. Kind and understanding man that he was, Henri had been thrilled at the idea of having Rosie back so soon. She was one of his better workers, a sweet disposition, and his customers had been asking about her since she'd left.
Even if it was for the breakfast and lunch shifts, the man was glad to take her back and had let her start immediately.
It was an adjustment. Starting work at five in the morning meant she got up around three-thirty. She readied herself, cooked breakfast for the both of them and headed out to meet the morning rush. It was faster-paced than the dinner hours, most of the customers in a hurry to eat before they went off to work. They were more demanding, grumpy and without the customary alcohol that accompanied their meals in the evening, the men ran off coffee which did little to help with their demeanors.
Still, it was decent money and the tips were better than she thought they'd be. Not alcohol-induced tips, but good all the same.
The shift also meant she had plenty of time to get home, clean up, do some chores and get dinner started. With Cassian no longer working at the factory, it wasn't a mad dash to have dinner done by four-thirty, and if she needed to stop at the market on the way, it was fine.
She tired quicker, she was finding, than she had before. Likely due to her pregnancy. Though she didn't have a belly, she found her energy reserves weren't quite what they were before, and the past two days she had found herself aching for a nap mid-shift.
She'd take one now, she decided as she turned the corner onto their street. Cassian wouldn't care if dinner ran a little late.
As she stepped up to the door, she fiddled for her keys, slipping one into the lock.
Something gripped her, and she stopped, mid-turn. The street was always quiet this time of the day, but something, she couldn't put her finger on it, felt off. The girl glanced over her shoulder, waiting a moment to see if maybe she just felt someone watching her. There were nosy neighbors, especially older ones.
But there was nothing.
She hesitated a moment, turning her attention back to the lock as the strange feeling magnified. Goosebumps ran up her arms, and she decided the faster she got into the house, the better. Whatever it was, couldn't come through a locked door.
She hurried, the lock clicking out of place and she pushed the door open slightly, slipping through it and closing it behind her, just as fast.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
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